with A.Z. Araujo - Episode 27:

Hope for the Best, 
Prepare for the Worst

with A.Z. Araujo - Episode 27:

Hope for the Best, 
Prepare for the Worst

CUSTOM JAVASCRIPT / HTML
When you hear that saying,” Hope for the best but prepare for the worst,” what position of power does it put you in? Are you an eternal optimist or pessimist? Some think that if you focus your thoughts on the “what ifs,” then you use the power needed to achieve your success. Have you ever considered that by preparing for the failures, you are paving a pathway to your goals? By putting a plan of action into place for those times when things fall through, you secure your next step in the process of moving forward. Take time to appreciate how far you have come and prepare yourself for each step of your journey. I may not have it all figured out, but somehow, I always figure it out.
Optimist or Pessimist?
  • ​We have all heard, "Hope for the best and prepare for the worst." Are you an optimist or a pessimist? When you prepare for the worst, some people can take offense to that; you are acknowledging that if it is going to happen, you are keeping a positive mindset. That is the mindset I had for many years. It was going to happen, I was going to fail, but I was going to move forward. 
  • ​When you say, "Hope for the best," let's make that an expectation. It's going to happen. When you do that it doesn't allow you to think about what if it doesn't happen? When it doesn't happen, we are devastated, and we don't understand why we lack the motivation to get up and do it again. Our expectations are so high that it will happen; the lesson for me was when we opened a franchise. 
  • ​Carla and I spent our savings and got a small business loan to supplement that as well. We leveraged everything and mortgaged my house to have more cash available. I even went as far as to get credit cards and pull money from them. I was determined that it was going to happen, and I declared it. Carla and I would constantly bump heads, and she would often ask me what if it doesn't happen? I would get upset with her and question her faith and trust in me to make it happen. 
  • ​This was something we prepared for, and it was going to happen. I would look at Carla and question her faith and belief that it would occur. She was giving bad energy to me and was being a pessimist. I went at it a 100 miles an hour and then just hoped for the best. And it didn't work out, and I didn't have a backup plan. When you don't have a backup plan, you drain your energy, resources, and your ability to navigate a way to figure something else out. 
  • ​You debilitate your ability to make good choices, and we shut down because there is no backup plan. I completely shut down because I had no backup plan, and I refused to look at the realities that sometimes I will fail. When the expectation was so high, and I failed so miserably it debilitated me. I slipped into a state of depression, into financial ruin and didn't realize there was something I could do about it. The expectation was so high, and I refused to look at the fact that if it didn't work out, then what? 
  • ​If Carla had been in that same place of expectation, then we would have never gotten out of it. Because she prepared for the worst, she was able to carry our family through. She is the one who took care of all the situations that arose from that. She met with our attorneys and CPAs and settled on our debts. While I was helpless and depressed, she dared to move forward; not because she was a pessimist, but she was a realist. Carla had an action plan to move forward, and she didn't let it debilitate her or our family. 
  • ​It happens so much in this industry, and we refuse to look at the statistics that nearly 90% of agents will fail. We refuse to look at that and say that we are different. I am going to keep hoping for the best and then set that expectation. When things don't happen our way, and we become that statistic we refused to be, because we refused to formulate a backup plan, an action plan, in case it did fail. 
  • ​We have high expectations for our Open Houses; so many people are going to come through, and you're going to get a contract. You go three days at your Open House, and no one walks through it and then what? You go into the same feelings that I went through. Feeling helpless and then you don't have an action plan to go at it again the following weekend. That is why so many only hold a few Open Houses then quit. 
  • ​This is the reality, and it isn't about being a pessimist or an optimist; it's about realizing you are going to work your ass off, but in case it doesn't work, what will you do? That's all it is. You aren't saying that you are preparing yourself for failure, it's preparing yourself for success. The odds are that if you are pushing yourself, you are going to fail and face the obstacles. Your job is to understand what you will do right after.
What's Your Plan?
  • When you lose that listing appointment; you can go in with all the optimism in the world and be prepared to get the listing, but what happens if you don't? Most agents will shut down, they stop marketing for weeks, and they self loathe; they go into a pit for weeks because of the listing they should have got. They failed to prepare for the worst, and you have to look at it that way; success comes with failure. It is your job to determine what you are going to do next? 
  • ​I let Carla fight this all by herself; she carried all the burden while I was in a place of victimhood. Oh Whoa is me. I was in a dark place, shutting down from my family and everything. My expectation was so high that I wasn't going to fail. I refused to look at the statistics stating that most businesses fail. 
  • ​We lay in self-pity and do nothing about it, making the situation worse. I want you to think about where you are right now; Are your actions as intentional as they were when you first got into this game. Are you self loathing because your expectations have not been met? You're questioning and doubting yourself, when in fact you need to realize that this business is full of failures. Your job is to determine what next and keep moving. 
  • ​I have seen individuals come into this industry with pure fire; on social media, reaching out to their clients, and they don't get a response. Prepare now for when you don't get a response, what will you do about it? The odds are you won't get a response, just because you got a wild hair to market your butt off you expect everyone to come on board? It will not work that way. As you are making these videos, sending emails, making phone calls, and texting your sphere; what will you do if they don't respond? Most stopped doing it and convinced that it might work for others but not for them. 
  • ​As you send those text messages today, what will you do if no one texts back? The simple solution would be that you will text more people and then in two weeks when it comes time to text them again, you don't think about what you did, and you will do what you are supposed to do; because you have an action plan.
  • ​This goes for all facets of your life. We set expectations so high that when we don't get what we thought in return, we start to feel bad for ourselves. I love to work out and the power that I obtain from a great workout. I know all the benefits of it. But what happens on those days when I don't feel like doing anything? I self loathe for a bit, knowing I shouldn't feel this way. I can stay in a place of self-pity or have a backup plan. 
  • ​This happened to me last week and when it happens to you, write down three things that you have to do. Sometimes you have to go through the motions knowing that there is an outcome at the end. It's having the action plan and not just sitting there in self-loathing. I know the benefits of working out, so why was I feeling this way? One solution would be to do nothing that day, give yourself permission; that's good, but you will carry the guilt of that decision later that day. Another solution would be to lower that expectation, realizing you will only be there for 20 or 30 minutes instead of an hour. Write down three things you have to do, follow those three things, and see how you feel afterwards. 
  • ​That is what I did; I did supersets, two exercises, back-to-back for a total of six exercises, and I had a hell of a pump. If I would have refused to work out and lay in that pity, I know how I would have felt. It's about preparation for the worst. It's our job as parents to do the same thing.
The What Ifs
  • My 10- year old Madeline, my little Buddha is always thinking ahead. I was getting ready in my bathroom, and she walks in and asks me if I knew that men die first? She goes on to ask me if I am going to die first. I told her she didn't need to think about that because I am taking care of myself. That is our job to make our kids feel better, but it goes beyond that. What happens if that does happen? Are we preparing our kids if something devastating were to happen, or are we giving them a false sense of hope that everything will always be okay? 
  • ​We then question why depression is so prevalent in this world. It's because of the lack of preparation. I could have stopped it there, much like the advise my Mom would have given me. The conversation could have ended there; but what if it does happen? So I had a conversation like that with my 10-year old because it isn't the first time we have had this conversation. 
  • ​I told her it's okay to be sad if it happens; I'm her Dad. But I told her I didn't want her to give up her life for mine. I told her I didn't want her to stay in that sad place because I would be watching; everything I taught her and showed her, I want her to continue to move forward. I don't want her to shut down her life and feel bad that I am not here. I have lived my life, and my job was to prepare her for her life.
  • ​She sat there listening, and she had tears coming down her cheeks, but they began to dry up. I told her that is what I was preparing her for; I can't give her a false sense of hope because what if something happens? If I don't give her this advice, will she sink into a depressive state when I am gone? I don't want that for her, so we have a real conversation about what if. 
  • ​We had the same conversation with our 14-year old. She has on her phone numbers of our Attorney and CPA in case something happens to us. We have created a trust in case something happens to us. We have prepared her in case something happens to us. I am not going to give her false hope that everything will be okay all the time; but it is her job to move forward. There is an action plan in place; it's right there on her phone. 
  • ​We have prepared this with my parents, Carla's Mom and my brother; these are the realities, and I don't want them to waste years trying to figure it out. Feeling sorry for the situation, they need to know they must move forward. That is our job as parents to have those real conversations and not give them a false sense of hope. And it takes work.
Be Prepared
  • I am going to give you some pointers that I use and that I have learned over the years on how to be able to have the Hope of Success but to Prepare for the Worst. 
  • 1. Have an immediate action plan if that listing appointment doesn't go your way or If that really strong offer you submitted is rejected. If you aren't prepared for it, how will you prepare your clients? Your clients will lose faith if you have no action plan. How about having that conversation with them? The market is hot right now, and if a home is priced correctly, odds are there will be multiple offers, and you will be going up against various people. You feel sorry for yourself because you lost two in a row; what about that person who lost 10? How about you prepare yourself and your client just in case it doesn't go your way; what action plans to do you have? Are you putting everything on this and if you lose it your energy will be sucked from you? Your clients can feel that, and they will lose confidence in you. Or, do you have a showing scheduled later that afternoon, just in case? I hear all of the time that an agent can't get their offers accepted. You are focusing on the wrong thing. Keep going until you get it accepted. That is the significant difference between a high producer against those that don't produce often enough. They get devastated because the offer on the house the clients loved wasn't accepted; what's the action plan. Of course, you're going to do your job to be successful, to get the client what they want; but what if it doesn't go their way? What if you don't have that motivation to go to the gym? Then what? Maybe you go for a walk, but it is the progression moving forward and not laying in that pit of disappointment. That is my greatest strength; my ability to keep going after an obstacle, disappointment, or failure. While most wallow in the self pit and darkness, I am taking the steps forward to keep going.
  • 2. You need to have self-reflection and understand that you have full power of where you allow your emotions to go; full control of choice, and over your emotions. Reflection, you have been here before. You have been devastated and failed before. Opposed to thinking about the pain it brought you, think about how you got out of it. Think about how you are still here in this game. If you had the capacity to overcome before, why aren't you giving yourself credit for overcoming those obstacles today? Self-reflection will allow you to propel forward, to forge forward. This isn't the first time it has happened; why do we act as if it is? Why do we act like it is the end of the world? Self-reflection is key to this and odds are that whatever you're going through it isn't the worst thing that you have been through. Reflection allows us to understand that we have overcome and it is our job to continue to move forward; this too, shall pass. It will only pass when you understand the first thing to do. You have freedom of choice to control your actions, to control your emotions, and to keep moving forward. Self-reflection is key to this process of growth and overcoming this devastating situation, traumatic event, or disappointment. 
  • 3. There is always a greater lesson to everything. Why is this happening? Why does it continue to happen? What is the real issue? We have to look at these failures as the ability to build capacity; being able to pinpoint what will make you succeed vs. what are the actions and behaviors that allow me to fail? There are lessons in everything, and I couldn't see that when I lost everything. Today that is what has built this company and made it strong. I am a better businessman because of those failures and that I understand I always have to prepare for the worst; just in case. I am an optimist to the core, but it doesn't mean I am a pessimist if I plan for an occurrence that it could happen. If someone walks into your Open House and you, don't have answers for them about the neighborhood, or about the school, guess what that did? They pointed out your weaknesses, so correct that weakness and become the authority in that knowledge; if it happens again, you are then well prepared. Most will feel stupid and helpless in that situation like they don't know enough vs. having the attitude of finding out the information. When you lose that listing appointment, what could you have done better? That was an opportunity to learn. Not an opportunity to shut down and believe that you will never get another listing appointment. You are going to get better because now you know what questions your clients will ask; there is a lesson in this. What are you facing right now? You need to look at it with a different perspective, and that is all it is. 
  • 4. When we are in a place of failure, we lose confidence in ourselves, and we think someone else has it figured out. We wallow in a place of pity because we think someone needs to save us; there should be a miracle that transforms the series of events that led us here. What advice would you give if your child or a sibling were going through this? Someone you truly care about, what advice would you give that person if they were in your situation? We are powerful and have all of the solutions, but after failures, we lose our confidence and all hope in ourselves. When you are in that place, what advice would you give your son or daughter? Are they facing the same obstacles? Huge disappointment and rejection? After you think about what you would tell that person, I want you to take that same advice because it is dead on. It came from your heart, from your soul, and you are one hundred percent correct. I need you to listen to yourself and not wait for someone else to save you, because that will never happen. 
  • 5. Appreciation. You are a resilient person; look around. The things you have been through, the things done to you; holy shit. You are resilient, relentless, fearless, and powerful; appreciate yourself because that will allow you to stand strong and understand that this situation doesn't define you. This is just a moment in time. It is so important that you can look in the mirror and appreciate the person that continues to move forward. Although these feelings of despair come at us, you need to refuse to stay there. The game now becomes about staying there less and less; that is where real growth happens because it is going to happen again. Unless you appreciate yourself and be grateful for who you have in your life, all you do is waste time in self-pity. I want you to have that deep sense of appreciation. Look at your kids, your family, and yourself; there is so much more to be grateful for then for you to be so selfish and stay in that place of pity and sorrow. It's time for you to stand up because you are bigger and greater than that. We all should hope to be the best and be unstoppable by preparing for the worst; just in case. We have that action plan, just in case, and this applies to all aspects of your life; your business, family, kids, relationships, and health. 

Don't Put Your Eggs in One Basket
  • You need to be in full control of yourself when things come up. You need to feel that power; I don't have it all figured out, but somehow, I always have it figured out. Embrace that and know that you can always figure it out after you get out of your head. Your job is not to let it linger for weeks and months at a time until you can muster up the courage to get out of that. Be intentional about it; you have full control because you have always figured it out. 
  • ​Sometimes we put all of our eggs in one basket, we get that one deal, and all we can do is cater to that one client. We plan what we will do with the money, but when the deal doesn't happen because the expectations were so high, we are devastated. It is your job to get more clients because if everything is riding on that one deal, it isn't your client's fault; it is your fault for not having more clients behind that. It is your fault for not generating enough leads, for not marketing enough; that is the real lesson. That lays the responsibility strictly one you and you will learn that after spending years in that pit or learning it now. Your deal always has a possibility of falling through, what are you going to do about it? 
  • ​How are you prepared if it doesn't go through? Sitting in the pit can be painful, and you lose power, you lose focus; you need to do your due diligence and find more deals and more families to help. You need to have that plan, just in case and then you won't be devastated. 
  • ​Carla stepped up when she had too because I was a mess and I can't imagine how much more powerfully than we would be if I had taken a moment just in case it didn't work; instead of leaving her all by herself, adding that additional stress on her. She should have had a man to back her up, but instead, she had a weak boy. Carla carried the entire load and burden as the whole. 
  • ​There are those of us who completely shut down when things don't go our way, and you allow your partner to carry the burden. You put it on your kids to carry the burden. It's not right. You need to become fierce and have that sense of appreciation for yourself. A sound back up plan will alleviate some of the anxiety away with execution. 
  • ​Appreciate the losses because that is when you learn the most; appreciate the rejection because now you can tweak and change your approach with your clients. It doesn't mean you're a failure if it doesn't go your way; this a skill set within the million others you need to become a master at this game. 
  • ​Take some time to reflect on the lessons that life is teaching you and make sure to prepare in case things don't go your way. There is power in everything; it depends on how you look at it. As I go through the five things, you will see some similarities of things you have done. 
  • 1. Ask yourself now what?
  • 2. Reflection
  • 3. What is the lesson?
  • 4. What advice would you give others? 
  • 5. Appreciation for what you have been through.

More Episodes

CUSTOM JAVASCRIPT / HTML
When you hear that saying,” Hope for the best but prepare for the worst,” what position of power does it put you in? Are you an eternal optimist or pessimist? Some think that if you focus your thoughts on the “what ifs,” then you use the power needed to achieve your success. Have you ever considered that by preparing for the failures, you are paving a pathway to your goals? By putting a plan of action into place for those times when things fall through, you secure your next step in the process of moving forward. Take time to appreciate how far you have come and prepare yourself for each step of your journey. I may not have it all figured out, but somehow, I always figure it out.
Optimist or Pessimist?
  • ​We have all heard, "Hope for the best and prepare for the worst." Are you an optimist or a pessimist? When you prepare for the worst, some people can take offense to that; you are acknowledging that if it is going to happen, you are keeping a positive mindset. That is the mindset I had for many years. It was going to happen, I was going to fail, but I was going to move forward. 
  • ​When you say, "Hope for the best," let's make that an expectation. It's going to happen. When you do that it doesn't allow you to think about what if it doesn't happen? When it doesn't happen, we are devastated, and we don't understand why we lack the motivation to get up and do it again. Our expectations are so high that it will happen; the lesson for me was when we opened a franchise. 
  • ​Carla and I spent our savings and got a small business loan to supplement that as well. We leveraged everything and mortgaged my house to have more cash available. I even went as far as to get credit cards and pull money from them. I was determined that it was going to happen, and I declared it. Carla and I would constantly bump heads, and she would often ask me what if it doesn't happen? I would get upset with her and question her faith and trust in me to make it happen. 
  • ​This was something we prepared for, and it was going to happen. I would look at Carla and question her faith and belief that it would occur. She was giving bad energy to me and was being a pessimist. I went at it a 100 miles an hour and then just hoped for the best. And it didn't work out, and I didn't have a backup plan. When you don't have a backup plan, you drain your energy, resources, and your ability to navigate a way to figure something else out. 
  • ​You debilitate your ability to make good choices, and we shut down because there is no backup plan. I completely shut down because I had no backup plan, and I refused to look at the realities that sometimes I will fail. When the expectation was so high, and I failed so miserably it debilitated me. I slipped into a state of depression, into financial ruin and didn't realize there was something I could do about it. The expectation was so high, and I refused to look at the fact that if it didn't work out, then what? 
  • ​If Carla had been in that same place of expectation, then we would have never gotten out of it. Because she prepared for the worst, she was able to carry our family through. She is the one who took care of all the situations that arose from that. She met with our attorneys and CPAs and settled on our debts. While I was helpless and depressed, she dared to move forward; not because she was a pessimist, but she was a realist. Carla had an action plan to move forward, and she didn't let it debilitate her or our family. 
  • ​It happens so much in this industry, and we refuse to look at the statistics that nearly 90% of agents will fail. We refuse to look at that and say that we are different. I am going to keep hoping for the best and then set that expectation. When things don't happen our way, and we become that statistic we refused to be, because we refused to formulate a backup plan, an action plan, in case it did fail. 
  • ​We have high expectations for our Open Houses; so many people are going to come through, and you're going to get a contract. You go three days at your Open House, and no one walks through it and then what? You go into the same feelings that I went through. Feeling helpless and then you don't have an action plan to go at it again the following weekend. That is why so many only hold a few Open Houses then quit. 
  • ​This is the reality, and it isn't about being a pessimist or an optimist; it's about realizing you are going to work your ass off, but in case it doesn't work, what will you do? That's all it is. You aren't saying that you are preparing yourself for failure, it's preparing yourself for success. The odds are that if you are pushing yourself, you are going to fail and face the obstacles. Your job is to understand what you will do right after.
What's Your Plan?
  • When you lose that listing appointment; you can go in with all the optimism in the world and be prepared to get the listing, but what happens if you don't? Most agents will shut down, they stop marketing for weeks, and they self loathe; they go into a pit for weeks because of the listing they should have got. They failed to prepare for the worst, and you have to look at it that way; success comes with failure. It is your job to determine what you are going to do next? 
  • ​I let Carla fight this all by herself; she carried all the burden while I was in a place of victimhood. Oh Whoa is me. I was in a dark place, shutting down from my family and everything. My expectation was so high that I wasn't going to fail. I refused to look at the statistics stating that most businesses fail. 
  • ​We lay in self-pity and do nothing about it, making the situation worse. I want you to think about where you are right now; Are your actions as intentional as they were when you first got into this game. Are you self loathing because your expectations have not been met? You're questioning and doubting yourself, when in fact you need to realize that this business is full of failures. Your job is to determine what next and keep moving. 
  • ​I have seen individuals come into this industry with pure fire; on social media, reaching out to their clients, and they don't get a response. Prepare now for when you don't get a response, what will you do about it? The odds are you won't get a response, just because you got a wild hair to market your butt off you expect everyone to come on board? It will not work that way. As you are making these videos, sending emails, making phone calls, and texting your sphere; what will you do if they don't respond? Most stopped doing it and convinced that it might work for others but not for them. 
  • ​As you send those text messages today, what will you do if no one texts back? The simple solution would be that you will text more people and then in two weeks when it comes time to text them again, you don't think about what you did, and you will do what you are supposed to do; because you have an action plan.
  • ​This goes for all facets of your life. We set expectations so high that when we don't get what we thought in return, we start to feel bad for ourselves. I love to work out and the power that I obtain from a great workout. I know all the benefits of it. But what happens on those days when I don't feel like doing anything? I self loathe for a bit, knowing I shouldn't feel this way. I can stay in a place of self-pity or have a backup plan. 
  • ​This happened to me last week and when it happens to you, write down three things that you have to do. Sometimes you have to go through the motions knowing that there is an outcome at the end. It's having the action plan and not just sitting there in self-loathing. I know the benefits of working out, so why was I feeling this way? One solution would be to do nothing that day, give yourself permission; that's good, but you will carry the guilt of that decision later that day. Another solution would be to lower that expectation, realizing you will only be there for 20 or 30 minutes instead of an hour. Write down three things you have to do, follow those three things, and see how you feel afterwards. 
  • ​That is what I did; I did supersets, two exercises, back-to-back for a total of six exercises, and I had a hell of a pump. If I would have refused to work out and lay in that pity, I know how I would have felt. It's about preparation for the worst. It's our job as parents to do the same thing.
The What Ifs
  • My 10- year old Madeline, my little Buddha is always thinking ahead. I was getting ready in my bathroom, and she walks in and asks me if I knew that men die first? She goes on to ask me if I am going to die first. I told her she didn't need to think about that because I am taking care of myself. That is our job to make our kids feel better, but it goes beyond that. What happens if that does happen? Are we preparing our kids if something devastating were to happen, or are we giving them a false sense of hope that everything will always be okay? 
  • ​We then question why depression is so prevalent in this world. It's because of the lack of preparation. I could have stopped it there, much like the advise my Mom would have given me. The conversation could have ended there; but what if it does happen? So I had a conversation like that with my 10-year old because it isn't the first time we have had this conversation. 
  • ​I told her it's okay to be sad if it happens; I'm her Dad. But I told her I didn't want her to give up her life for mine. I told her I didn't want her to stay in that sad place because I would be watching; everything I taught her and showed her, I want her to continue to move forward. I don't want her to shut down her life and feel bad that I am not here. I have lived my life, and my job was to prepare her for her life.
  • ​She sat there listening, and she had tears coming down her cheeks, but they began to dry up. I told her that is what I was preparing her for; I can't give her a false sense of hope because what if something happens? If I don't give her this advice, will she sink into a depressive state when I am gone? I don't want that for her, so we have a real conversation about what if. 
  • ​We had the same conversation with our 14-year old. She has on her phone numbers of our Attorney and CPA in case something happens to us. We have created a trust in case something happens to us. We have prepared her in case something happens to us. I am not going to give her false hope that everything will be okay all the time; but it is her job to move forward. There is an action plan in place; it's right there on her phone. 
  • ​We have prepared this with my parents, Carla's Mom and my brother; these are the realities, and I don't want them to waste years trying to figure it out. Feeling sorry for the situation, they need to know they must move forward. That is our job as parents to have those real conversations and not give them a false sense of hope. And it takes work.
Be Prepared
  • I am going to give you some pointers that I use and that I have learned over the years on how to be able to have the Hope of Success but to Prepare for the Worst. 
  • 1. Have an immediate action plan if that listing appointment doesn't go your way or If that really strong offer you submitted is rejected. If you aren't prepared for it, how will you prepare your clients? Your clients will lose faith if you have no action plan. How about having that conversation with them? The market is hot right now, and if a home is priced correctly, odds are there will be multiple offers, and you will be going up against various people. You feel sorry for yourself because you lost two in a row; what about that person who lost 10? How about you prepare yourself and your client just in case it doesn't go your way; what action plans to do you have? Are you putting everything on this and if you lose it your energy will be sucked from you? Your clients can feel that, and they will lose confidence in you. Or, do you have a showing scheduled later that afternoon, just in case? I hear all of the time that an agent can't get their offers accepted. You are focusing on the wrong thing. Keep going until you get it accepted. That is the significant difference between a high producer against those that don't produce often enough. They get devastated because the offer on the house the clients loved wasn't accepted; what's the action plan. Of course, you're going to do your job to be successful, to get the client what they want; but what if it doesn't go their way? What if you don't have that motivation to go to the gym? Then what? Maybe you go for a walk, but it is the progression moving forward and not laying in that pit of disappointment. That is my greatest strength; my ability to keep going after an obstacle, disappointment, or failure. While most wallow in the self pit and darkness, I am taking the steps forward to keep going.
  • 2. You need to have self-reflection and understand that you have full power of where you allow your emotions to go; full control of choice, and over your emotions. Reflection, you have been here before. You have been devastated and failed before. Opposed to thinking about the pain it brought you, think about how you got out of it. Think about how you are still here in this game. If you had the capacity to overcome before, why aren't you giving yourself credit for overcoming those obstacles today? Self-reflection will allow you to propel forward, to forge forward. This isn't the first time it has happened; why do we act as if it is? Why do we act like it is the end of the world? Self-reflection is key to this and odds are that whatever you're going through it isn't the worst thing that you have been through. Reflection allows us to understand that we have overcome and it is our job to continue to move forward; this too, shall pass. It will only pass when you understand the first thing to do. You have freedom of choice to control your actions, to control your emotions, and to keep moving forward. Self-reflection is key to this process of growth and overcoming this devastating situation, traumatic event, or disappointment. 
  • 3. There is always a greater lesson to everything. Why is this happening? Why does it continue to happen? What is the real issue? We have to look at these failures as the ability to build capacity; being able to pinpoint what will make you succeed vs. what are the actions and behaviors that allow me to fail? There are lessons in everything, and I couldn't see that when I lost everything. Today that is what has built this company and made it strong. I am a better businessman because of those failures and that I understand I always have to prepare for the worst; just in case. I am an optimist to the core, but it doesn't mean I am a pessimist if I plan for an occurrence that it could happen. If someone walks into your Open House and you, don't have answers for them about the neighborhood, or about the school, guess what that did? They pointed out your weaknesses, so correct that weakness and become the authority in that knowledge; if it happens again, you are then well prepared. Most will feel stupid and helpless in that situation like they don't know enough vs. having the attitude of finding out the information. When you lose that listing appointment, what could you have done better? That was an opportunity to learn. Not an opportunity to shut down and believe that you will never get another listing appointment. You are going to get better because now you know what questions your clients will ask; there is a lesson in this. What are you facing right now? You need to look at it with a different perspective, and that is all it is. 
  • 4. When we are in a place of failure, we lose confidence in ourselves, and we think someone else has it figured out. We wallow in a place of pity because we think someone needs to save us; there should be a miracle that transforms the series of events that led us here. What advice would you give if your child or a sibling were going through this? Someone you truly care about, what advice would you give that person if they were in your situation? We are powerful and have all of the solutions, but after failures, we lose our confidence and all hope in ourselves. When you are in that place, what advice would you give your son or daughter? Are they facing the same obstacles? Huge disappointment and rejection? After you think about what you would tell that person, I want you to take that same advice because it is dead on. It came from your heart, from your soul, and you are one hundred percent correct. I need you to listen to yourself and not wait for someone else to save you, because that will never happen. 
  • 5. Appreciation. You are a resilient person; look around. The things you have been through, the things done to you; holy shit. You are resilient, relentless, fearless, and powerful; appreciate yourself because that will allow you to stand strong and understand that this situation doesn't define you. This is just a moment in time. It is so important that you can look in the mirror and appreciate the person that continues to move forward. Although these feelings of despair come at us, you need to refuse to stay there. The game now becomes about staying there less and less; that is where real growth happens because it is going to happen again. Unless you appreciate yourself and be grateful for who you have in your life, all you do is waste time in self-pity. I want you to have that deep sense of appreciation. Look at your kids, your family, and yourself; there is so much more to be grateful for then for you to be so selfish and stay in that place of pity and sorrow. It's time for you to stand up because you are bigger and greater than that. We all should hope to be the best and be unstoppable by preparing for the worst; just in case. We have that action plan, just in case, and this applies to all aspects of your life; your business, family, kids, relationships, and health. 

Don't Put Your Eggs in One Basket
  • You need to be in full control of yourself when things come up. You need to feel that power; I don't have it all figured out, but somehow, I always have it figured out. Embrace that and know that you can always figure it out after you get out of your head. Your job is not to let it linger for weeks and months at a time until you can muster up the courage to get out of that. Be intentional about it; you have full control because you have always figured it out. 
  • ​Sometimes we put all of our eggs in one basket, we get that one deal, and all we can do is cater to that one client. We plan what we will do with the money, but when the deal doesn't happen because the expectations were so high, we are devastated. It is your job to get more clients because if everything is riding on that one deal, it isn't your client's fault; it is your fault for not having more clients behind that. It is your fault for not generating enough leads, for not marketing enough; that is the real lesson. That lays the responsibility strictly one you and you will learn that after spending years in that pit or learning it now. Your deal always has a possibility of falling through, what are you going to do about it? 
  • ​How are you prepared if it doesn't go through? Sitting in the pit can be painful, and you lose power, you lose focus; you need to do your due diligence and find more deals and more families to help. You need to have that plan, just in case and then you won't be devastated. 
  • ​Carla stepped up when she had too because I was a mess and I can't imagine how much more powerfully than we would be if I had taken a moment just in case it didn't work; instead of leaving her all by herself, adding that additional stress on her. She should have had a man to back her up, but instead, she had a weak boy. Carla carried the entire load and burden as the whole. 
  • ​There are those of us who completely shut down when things don't go our way, and you allow your partner to carry the burden. You put it on your kids to carry the burden. It's not right. You need to become fierce and have that sense of appreciation for yourself. A sound back up plan will alleviate some of the anxiety away with execution. 
  • ​Appreciate the losses because that is when you learn the most; appreciate the rejection because now you can tweak and change your approach with your clients. It doesn't mean you're a failure if it doesn't go your way; this a skill set within the million others you need to become a master at this game. 
  • ​Take some time to reflect on the lessons that life is teaching you and make sure to prepare in case things don't go your way. There is power in everything; it depends on how you look at it. As I go through the five things, you will see some similarities of things you have done. 
  • 1. Ask yourself now what?
  • 2. Reflection
  • 3. What is the lesson?
  • 4. What advice would you give others? 
  • 5. Appreciation for what you have been through.

More Episodes



A.Z. & Associates Real Estate Group - 2019