with A.Z. Araujo - Episode 29:

Delayed Gratification

with A.Z. Araujo - Episode 29:

Delayed Gratification

CUSTOM JAVASCRIPT / HTML
We all have been conditioned to soothe our pain as it happens and not ride it out. Looking for the instant satisfaction and not waiting on the delayed gratification is why we are unable to achieve what it is we want. Keeping your eye on the big picture, saying no to the frivolous purchases and unnecessary get-aways will set your path forward to your long term goals. Don't sedate and soothe but feel the growing pains of your business and gratification that comes with the sacrifice of success.
Delayed Gratification vs Instant Satisfaction
  • ​When we talk about Delayed Gratification, what does that mean to you? To me, it means to be able to delay certain things you want to reach the 'Big Picture." The reason we don't have what we want is we are constantly looking to soothe and satisfy ourselves, cravings, emotions, and thoughts, immediately.
  • ​The most successful people on this planet have delayed gratification; they aren't looking for the quick fix or euphoria of satisfying those cravings. When I dropped off my daughter today, she was a little nervous about her tryouts for High School Volleyball. Even though she was nervous, there was a sense of confidence that I got from her.
  • ​She knows that she has done the work and put in the reps for many years. She has been playing since she was seven years old, and is 14 now. She has been playing Club Volleyball since she was nine years old and that is more competitive.
  • ​Right now, she is in the position of possibly making the Varsity Team as a Freshman; will she make it? I don't know, but I know she has a really good chance of it happening. She has the reps behind her. I remember though through her journey, how many birthday parties she missed, and there was always this thing of gratification. 
  • ​She could have taken the Instant Gratification and skipped practice, and missed a game, but she understood what the bigger picture was to get what she wanted. We have always imbedded in her to focus on getting better. 
  • ​With the possibility of the Varsity Team in her grasp, she knows she could have taken the instant gratification to satisfy her cravings at the time, and she would never have known the consequence of that action. That is where I come in as a parent. I remind her about her commitments because none of us as humans can see the pleasures of delayed gratification. We also don't see the sheer consequence of delayed pain. 
  • ​We are constantly working on the goal of what we feel instantly. Sometimes that is why we are in a situation where we go to a restaurant and decide to eat healthy for the day so we can lose weight. Within minutes of them bringing out a plate of bread, and we are good for a minute. The next thing you know we take a small piece because we want to satisfy that craving and yet we can't correlate that to the delayed consequence; which is that you aren't going to meet your overall goals. 
  • ​At the moment when the small temptation is put in front of us, we go for a small bite of that bread, and then the full slice and then the whole basket is gone. I can't tell you how many times I have been in that situation. What do I do now? No bread, please. I don't want the temptation in front of me. I understand the long term consequences. Every successful person that understands the consequences long term understands the gratification long term and is able to delay all of that for themselves. 
  • ​They can live through the pain of wanting that bread. When they get the body that they want, the energy and vitality they will have in the future, it all makes sense; but it's tough, and we see this pattern also within our agents.
Feel The Pain
  • We are always looking forward to this paycheck that is coming through; as soon as we get it we start spending it as if it were required; required to satisfy or soothe the pain of getting a deal through escrow.
  • ​I used to do that a lot and work my ass off. Instead of staying in that pain, and invest in something greater for the future, I wanted to spend it. I look in my closet at stuff I bought over five years ago; expensive shoes, belts, and clothes. That was my way of getting that instant gratification. I look at it now, and I question myself and what I was thinking. What was I thinking about spending all of that money on ridiculous items? Carla will tell you the same thing; the $5,000 purses. That is the way to soothe the instant pain, instead of sitting in it and wondering why you must soothe the pain. 
  • ​Is there something I am doing that I don't like that I have to soothe it to feel better, by spending money on ridiculous items. Why must I go on vacation the moment I close a deal? I couldn't stay in that moment long enough to discover my dysfunctional patterns. I just wanted to soothe the pain and get that instant gratification for all of the hard work I had done.
  • ​The reality was my business was a mess. I was working my ass ragged, but I couldn't identify that because as soon as I got paid, I was ready to go shopping. That was my way of soothing the pain, to go on vacation. I wanted that instant gratification, and I couldn't delay it. I needed to show people how successful I was right now. 
  • ​I had four cars and only two licensed drivers in the house. Why? Because I didn't like what I did and instead of building the systems and processes so that I could enjoy my business, I went for the instant gratification. I couldn't correlate the two for many years after. But there was a reason I couldn't contain myself.
  • ​I didn't want to look at the real picture, and I couldn't see anything greater for myself. I found the pleasure of spending it as opposed to sitting in the pain. This is a pattern we get from childhood; it isn't something that I developed as an adult. My parents, as soon as I was in pain, we're there to soothe it. Now I am conditioned that when I feel the pain of hard work, I want to ease it automatically. 
  • ​When you feel the pains of stress, people find different ways to soothe it. Through sedation, eating, and addictions of all sorts. Gambling and even sexual addictions. We want immediate satisfaction. 
  • ​We had a situation last week when our daughter came home, my youngest, bawling about how she isn't in the same class with her best friend; it wasn't fair in her eyes that all of her friends are in one class and she is in another. There were a few parents that thought it was up to them to bring it up to the school district. They wanted to know why all of their kids weren't in the same class. 
  • ​We had an administrator call Carla and told her they were thinking about changing these groups of people because they didn't want to feel the pain of parents complaining. The parents didn't want to feel the pain of their kids crying, so they wanted to give them that instant satisfaction. What do you think that does to those kids as adults? They will feel entitled, and then they reach a point as an adult that they don't get what they want, and it stops them in their tracks. They can't figure out what to do next.
  • ​Carla and I were on the same page and said not. There is a reason this occurred this way. These best friends are becoming dependent on each other, and if you give into them now what will happen two years from now or when they get into high school? They will have it in their mind if they complain enough, they will get what they want. All they are going for is instant satisfaction and don't see that making new friends, being in new environments alone, is the greater reward.
  • ​Delayed gratification. Because the parents didn't want to hear their kids crying and the administrators at the school didn't want to have parents upset; so we cater. We have to feel the pain because we have been conditioned since we were young, and as adults, we are trying to figure out why. Instead, the vast majority of the population is depressed and riddled with anxiety because the real world isn't what it was when we were young. 
  • ​We don't have the self-control to say we will feel the pain right now because there is something more significant in the future. So we told the administrators no, and we wanted them to leave it as is. I don't care how much we complain, or others complain, or our daughter complains. They agreed. 
  • ​I asked my daughter on Friday how school was going? She said awesome, and she met some new kids that came to the school. She started to tell me about the new girls in her school, and she would have missed that opportunity, being dependent on her best friends; not seeing the world for what it is. She would have missed the big picture if I had soothed her pain or looked for the instant gratification of trying to shut them up.
Rip Off the Band-Aid
  • That is what we are trying to do as parents; we are trying to fix our kids, so they don't cry or go through pain. As opposed to letting them sit in that pain so they can realize the world is not always going to give them what they want. When it doesn't you figure out an alternative, a different path to handle it, she was glad she didn't move classes, but she couldn't see that at first.
  • ​Carla and I were villainized in that situation, and some of you fall into that pressure the instant you get paid. The moment you get paid, you want to go out of town or spend recklessly. You want to spend that money as if it will always be that way because the pressures of our kids, our spouse, and maybe even the guilt of not being able to provide the entire time. That is a temporary band-aid because you haven't been able to duplicate your business over and over again. 
  • ​All you're doing is creating a greater consequence for your family as opposed to seeing the greater reward, the ups and downs of giving your family everything but this month you can't. Just because you want to satisfy the small complaints, you don't want to go through the minor pains. You are doing a big disservice to your family instead of saying that you are going to continue to work your ass off and invest in your business; it's a small term reward that doesn't mean you should feel accomplished. 
  • ​Hold off on vacation this year and the things you want to buy for the next six months. See what you can do with your business, so you don't go through the roller coaster of being able to provide one month but not the next. You have to live in that pain, and a reward doesn't always have to come about for every accomplishment. You don't have to go out and spend it because you don't want to hear your kids complain or your spouse wants to get out of town. But this takes communication and seeing the bigger picture, not the short term gratification. 
  • ​I see this time and time again, and maybe I am speaking to you. I am speaking in generalities, but I need you to see yourself in this place. It is a greater disservice to you and your confidence, to your kids; communication. We all want to live large and take great vacations; you have worked hard, but I need you to take a step back and ask yourself why you have to be in a place of satisfaction all of the time. 
  • ​Why? What is it about your business that you hate so much? We all work hard, and if you want to build something great, there is going to have to be some sacrifices, and short term pain that you live in. Ask a successful person when they took their last vacation; I didn't take one for five years. You will hear the different stories because they are willing to live through the short term pain for the long term gratification.
  • ​They don't think they got paid, so they better go shopping and buy this that or the other. You got paid so you can take the weekend off. Peaks and valleys are what you will get, and I promise you, if you take the route of being in the short term pain, five years from now it will become a different game. 
  • ​The vacations will be grander and not a way to avoid the pain but to celebrate the successes. You need to ask yourself if you are doing these things to soothe the pain, or are you celebrating the achievements.
If you Play, You're Going to Pay
  • We hear the term, "You gotta work hard and play harder." Working hard means that there is a lot of pain attached to that, a lot of sacrifices. But playing hard, what does that mean? It is to soothe the pain. How about you focus on working hard, keep doing that day after day and year after year and see where you end up. Not for the short term satisfaction but for the long term gratification of knowing you have built the right systems and processes. 
  • ​You don't have to go out and soothe the pain right away; it's a conditioning process that will take many years. We need to unravel the habits that we have built throughout the years. The game will become so much greater when you can see the bigger picture; The hundreds of thousands in your bank account, the systems, and processes in your business and the predictability of your lead sources.
  • ​It takes an understanding that the instant gratification will not get you the long term satisfaction; just like the bread. It feels good at the moment but will it get you closer to what you want. It will take continued sacrifice Our friends would always invite us to do things, but those things were not in alignment with what we wanted to do long term. After a while, they stopped asking, stopped hanging out and I wouldn't change anything about that experience. Right now, I am living a life that I could only imagine before. 
  • ​I have the space, the finances, the passion, and the fire. I kept my eye on the prize and kept looking at the bigger picture and not the short term goal of hanging out and partying. Our friend pool is pretty much just Carla and me, and sometimes we want to give up on the long term goal to satisfy that instant gratification.
  • ​If I had, I wouldn't be where I am today; I have not arrived by any means, but I see everything about my life begin to swell. It is continuing to expand, and it feels so good because I was able to live through the short term pains and the sacrifices that came along with it. My kids aren't any less happy because we didn't get to do the things they wanted to do over the summer. They are kids, and of course, they want certain things, they want to eat candy all day long. 
  • ​It doesn't make me a bad parent for not giving them what they want. It won't make you a bad person if you delay certain things and communicate that right now, it is all about building. It's about building, not about celebrating; not yet, not right now. The market is too good, and you need to take advantage of that. You will reap the benefits for years to come if you do it right. 
  • ​Look at the big picture and consider the delay in gratification. Where are you constantly going to soothe the pain? Where are you going for instant gratification and satisfaction?
Building on the Pain
  • Sometimes family doesn't understand that building a business takes years and not months. It is so difficult to say no to family and friends; they think they are looking out for us by telling us we need to take it easy. There are greater consequences if you don't go after what you want. 
  • ​It sometimes sucks to see your friends and family hanging out on Facebook, and we weren't even invited, but I get it. We said no so many times, and I honestly will probably say no again. I will never give up what I have right now and all the pain I went through to get it. It's only getting better and swelling with opportunity. 
  • ​In your attempts to satisfy that short term craving I want you to ask yourself do you feel like your swelling with opportunity? If you are not, you are going to have to put that aside for now and stay in the pain of going through the process of building a business. If you don't get the feeling that things are swelling with opportunity and you want to go out and spend that paycheck you just got, maybe it's time to take a step back. Maybe it's time to feel the pains of building the systems and processes of your business instead of escaping and feeling like you have arrived.
  • ​There is something more significant for you and you know that; stay in that pain right now. Be aware of your journey, aware of your behaviors and patterns. If you are going through peaks and valleys in your business, there is something there that needs to be identified. Something there that you are running away from, soothing your short term pain. 
  • ​When you quit and refuse to get up early, you have satisfied that pain by sleeping in and not doing the videos you needed to do. By saying that today is not a good day to do it, then you will feel out of your integrity later on when you are trying to create that space in the evening. The process must be that you are going to continue to do this so I can reap the rewards.
  • ​You need to ask yourself if you do this, will it lead to what I want in the future? Yes or no? Then weigh that against the outcome, not an impulse; not on a bread basket that will cause us to give up on all of our convictions. The pain is not bad, and sometimes we have to sit in there, we never create big things when we are feeling good. We are usually celebrating when we feel good; it's the pain that we learn the most from. It's the pain where we test ourselves and understand what we are made of.
  • ​If we sit in that pain as opposed to soothing it you will discover more about yourself then you realize. At least that is what has happened to the people that I know and me. I wonder how some of these triathletes are well off, CEO's of their own companies, very successful business owners and entrepreneurs; they dive into these pains to learn more about themselves. They understand that they must live in pain to see something more significant for themselves. 
  • ​The pain isn't always meant to debilitate you; it's meant to build you. That is where it ends, but we try to avoid it by making short term decisions, buying things, and going away when we shouldn't. What is the real reason why we want to soothe the pain instantly? That is the question. It's hard to always say no to family and deal with that guilt. When you go out when things are in abundance, and your bank account is swelling with money, it's a different game; there is no guilt. 
  • ​Giving up on the short term satisfaction makes for a greater outcome. It is always a matter of reflecting on your behaviors and patterns because you have all of the answers to get what you want. My job is to remind you and give you a different perspective so you can apply it to your own life. Ask yourself where in your life are you going through that right now? Not through my experiences or what my kids are going through, I am trying to trigger memories in your life because you are probably going through it right now.
  • ​I need you to analyze it then and discover why you do certain things and stop doing others. That's the game right now, learning more about yourself.

More Episodes

CUSTOM JAVASCRIPT / HTML
We all have been conditioned to soothe our pain as it happens and not ride it out. Looking for the instant satisfaction and not waiting on the delayed gratification is why we are unable to achieve what it is we want. Keeping your eye on the big picture, saying no to the frivolous purchases and unnecessary get-aways will set your path forward to your long term goals. Don't sedate and soothe but feel the growing pains of your business and gratification that comes with the sacrifice of success.
Delayed Gratification vs Instant Satisfaction
  • ​When we talk about Delayed Gratification, what does that mean to you? To me, it means to be able to delay certain things you want to reach the 'Big Picture." The reason we don't have what we want is we are constantly looking to soothe and satisfy ourselves, cravings, emotions, and thoughts, immediately.
  • ​The most successful people on this planet have delayed gratification; they aren't looking for the quick fix or euphoria of satisfying those cravings. When I dropped off my daughter today, she was a little nervous about her tryouts for High School Volleyball. Even though she was nervous, there was a sense of confidence that I got from her.
  • ​She knows that she has done the work and put in the reps for many years. She has been playing since she was seven years old, and is 14 now. She has been playing Club Volleyball since she was nine years old and that is more competitive.
  • ​Right now, she is in the position of possibly making the Varsity Team as a Freshman; will she make it? I don't know, but I know she has a really good chance of it happening. She has the reps behind her. I remember though through her journey, how many birthday parties she missed, and there was always this thing of gratification. 
  • ​She could have taken the Instant Gratification and skipped practice, and missed a game, but she understood what the bigger picture was to get what she wanted. We have always imbedded in her to focus on getting better. 
  • ​With the possibility of the Varsity Team in her grasp, she knows she could have taken the instant gratification to satisfy her cravings at the time, and she would never have known the consequence of that action. That is where I come in as a parent. I remind her about her commitments because none of us as humans can see the pleasures of delayed gratification. We also don't see the sheer consequence of delayed pain. 
  • ​We are constantly working on the goal of what we feel instantly. Sometimes that is why we are in a situation where we go to a restaurant and decide to eat healthy for the day so we can lose weight. Within minutes of them bringing out a plate of bread, and we are good for a minute. The next thing you know we take a small piece because we want to satisfy that craving and yet we can't correlate that to the delayed consequence; which is that you aren't going to meet your overall goals. 
  • ​At the moment when the small temptation is put in front of us, we go for a small bite of that bread, and then the full slice and then the whole basket is gone. I can't tell you how many times I have been in that situation. What do I do now? No bread, please. I don't want the temptation in front of me. I understand the long term consequences. Every successful person that understands the consequences long term understands the gratification long term and is able to delay all of that for themselves. 
  • ​They can live through the pain of wanting that bread. When they get the body that they want, the energy and vitality they will have in the future, it all makes sense; but it's tough, and we see this pattern also within our agents.
Feel The Pain
  • We are always looking forward to this paycheck that is coming through; as soon as we get it we start spending it as if it were required; required to satisfy or soothe the pain of getting a deal through escrow.
  • ​I used to do that a lot and work my ass off. Instead of staying in that pain, and invest in something greater for the future, I wanted to spend it. I look in my closet at stuff I bought over five years ago; expensive shoes, belts, and clothes. That was my way of getting that instant gratification. I look at it now, and I question myself and what I was thinking. What was I thinking about spending all of that money on ridiculous items? Carla will tell you the same thing; the $5,000 purses. That is the way to soothe the instant pain, instead of sitting in it and wondering why you must soothe the pain. 
  • ​Is there something I am doing that I don't like that I have to soothe it to feel better, by spending money on ridiculous items. Why must I go on vacation the moment I close a deal? I couldn't stay in that moment long enough to discover my dysfunctional patterns. I just wanted to soothe the pain and get that instant gratification for all of the hard work I had done.
  • ​The reality was my business was a mess. I was working my ass ragged, but I couldn't identify that because as soon as I got paid, I was ready to go shopping. That was my way of soothing the pain, to go on vacation. I wanted that instant gratification, and I couldn't delay it. I needed to show people how successful I was right now. 
  • ​I had four cars and only two licensed drivers in the house. Why? Because I didn't like what I did and instead of building the systems and processes so that I could enjoy my business, I went for the instant gratification. I couldn't correlate the two for many years after. But there was a reason I couldn't contain myself.
  • ​I didn't want to look at the real picture, and I couldn't see anything greater for myself. I found the pleasure of spending it as opposed to sitting in the pain. This is a pattern we get from childhood; it isn't something that I developed as an adult. My parents, as soon as I was in pain, we're there to soothe it. Now I am conditioned that when I feel the pain of hard work, I want to ease it automatically. 
  • ​When you feel the pains of stress, people find different ways to soothe it. Through sedation, eating, and addictions of all sorts. Gambling and even sexual addictions. We want immediate satisfaction. 
  • ​We had a situation last week when our daughter came home, my youngest, bawling about how she isn't in the same class with her best friend; it wasn't fair in her eyes that all of her friends are in one class and she is in another. There were a few parents that thought it was up to them to bring it up to the school district. They wanted to know why all of their kids weren't in the same class. 
  • ​We had an administrator call Carla and told her they were thinking about changing these groups of people because they didn't want to feel the pain of parents complaining. The parents didn't want to feel the pain of their kids crying, so they wanted to give them that instant satisfaction. What do you think that does to those kids as adults? They will feel entitled, and then they reach a point as an adult that they don't get what they want, and it stops them in their tracks. They can't figure out what to do next.
  • ​Carla and I were on the same page and said not. There is a reason this occurred this way. These best friends are becoming dependent on each other, and if you give into them now what will happen two years from now or when they get into high school? They will have it in their mind if they complain enough, they will get what they want. All they are going for is instant satisfaction and don't see that making new friends, being in new environments alone, is the greater reward.
  • ​Delayed gratification. Because the parents didn't want to hear their kids crying and the administrators at the school didn't want to have parents upset; so we cater. We have to feel the pain because we have been conditioned since we were young, and as adults, we are trying to figure out why. Instead, the vast majority of the population is depressed and riddled with anxiety because the real world isn't what it was when we were young. 
  • ​We don't have the self-control to say we will feel the pain right now because there is something more significant in the future. So we told the administrators no, and we wanted them to leave it as is. I don't care how much we complain, or others complain, or our daughter complains. They agreed. 
  • ​I asked my daughter on Friday how school was going? She said awesome, and she met some new kids that came to the school. She started to tell me about the new girls in her school, and she would have missed that opportunity, being dependent on her best friends; not seeing the world for what it is. She would have missed the big picture if I had soothed her pain or looked for the instant gratification of trying to shut them up.
Rip Off the Band-Aid
  • That is what we are trying to do as parents; we are trying to fix our kids, so they don't cry or go through pain. As opposed to letting them sit in that pain so they can realize the world is not always going to give them what they want. When it doesn't you figure out an alternative, a different path to handle it, she was glad she didn't move classes, but she couldn't see that at first.
  • ​Carla and I were villainized in that situation, and some of you fall into that pressure the instant you get paid. The moment you get paid, you want to go out of town or spend recklessly. You want to spend that money as if it will always be that way because the pressures of our kids, our spouse, and maybe even the guilt of not being able to provide the entire time. That is a temporary band-aid because you haven't been able to duplicate your business over and over again. 
  • ​All you're doing is creating a greater consequence for your family as opposed to seeing the greater reward, the ups and downs of giving your family everything but this month you can't. Just because you want to satisfy the small complaints, you don't want to go through the minor pains. You are doing a big disservice to your family instead of saying that you are going to continue to work your ass off and invest in your business; it's a small term reward that doesn't mean you should feel accomplished. 
  • ​Hold off on vacation this year and the things you want to buy for the next six months. See what you can do with your business, so you don't go through the roller coaster of being able to provide one month but not the next. You have to live in that pain, and a reward doesn't always have to come about for every accomplishment. You don't have to go out and spend it because you don't want to hear your kids complain or your spouse wants to get out of town. But this takes communication and seeing the bigger picture, not the short term gratification. 
  • ​I see this time and time again, and maybe I am speaking to you. I am speaking in generalities, but I need you to see yourself in this place. It is a greater disservice to you and your confidence, to your kids; communication. We all want to live large and take great vacations; you have worked hard, but I need you to take a step back and ask yourself why you have to be in a place of satisfaction all of the time. 
  • ​Why? What is it about your business that you hate so much? We all work hard, and if you want to build something great, there is going to have to be some sacrifices, and short term pain that you live in. Ask a successful person when they took their last vacation; I didn't take one for five years. You will hear the different stories because they are willing to live through the short term pain for the long term gratification.
  • ​They don't think they got paid, so they better go shopping and buy this that or the other. You got paid so you can take the weekend off. Peaks and valleys are what you will get, and I promise you, if you take the route of being in the short term pain, five years from now it will become a different game. 
  • ​The vacations will be grander and not a way to avoid the pain but to celebrate the successes. You need to ask yourself if you are doing these things to soothe the pain, or are you celebrating the achievements.
If you Play, You're Going to Pay
  • We hear the term, "You gotta work hard and play harder." Working hard means that there is a lot of pain attached to that, a lot of sacrifices. But playing hard, what does that mean? It is to soothe the pain. How about you focus on working hard, keep doing that day after day and year after year and see where you end up. Not for the short term satisfaction but for the long term gratification of knowing you have built the right systems and processes. 
  • ​You don't have to go out and soothe the pain right away; it's a conditioning process that will take many years. We need to unravel the habits that we have built throughout the years. The game will become so much greater when you can see the bigger picture; The hundreds of thousands in your bank account, the systems, and processes in your business and the predictability of your lead sources.
  • ​It takes an understanding that the instant gratification will not get you the long term satisfaction; just like the bread. It feels good at the moment but will it get you closer to what you want. It will take continued sacrifice Our friends would always invite us to do things, but those things were not in alignment with what we wanted to do long term. After a while, they stopped asking, stopped hanging out and I wouldn't change anything about that experience. Right now, I am living a life that I could only imagine before. 
  • ​I have the space, the finances, the passion, and the fire. I kept my eye on the prize and kept looking at the bigger picture and not the short term goal of hanging out and partying. Our friend pool is pretty much just Carla and me, and sometimes we want to give up on the long term goal to satisfy that instant gratification.
  • ​If I had, I wouldn't be where I am today; I have not arrived by any means, but I see everything about my life begin to swell. It is continuing to expand, and it feels so good because I was able to live through the short term pains and the sacrifices that came along with it. My kids aren't any less happy because we didn't get to do the things they wanted to do over the summer. They are kids, and of course, they want certain things, they want to eat candy all day long. 
  • ​It doesn't make me a bad parent for not giving them what they want. It won't make you a bad person if you delay certain things and communicate that right now, it is all about building. It's about building, not about celebrating; not yet, not right now. The market is too good, and you need to take advantage of that. You will reap the benefits for years to come if you do it right. 
  • ​Look at the big picture and consider the delay in gratification. Where are you constantly going to soothe the pain? Where are you going for instant gratification and satisfaction?
Building on the Pain
  • Sometimes family doesn't understand that building a business takes years and not months. It is so difficult to say no to family and friends; they think they are looking out for us by telling us we need to take it easy. There are greater consequences if you don't go after what you want. 
  • ​It sometimes sucks to see your friends and family hanging out on Facebook, and we weren't even invited, but I get it. We said no so many times, and I honestly will probably say no again. I will never give up what I have right now and all the pain I went through to get it. It's only getting better and swelling with opportunity. 
  • ​In your attempts to satisfy that short term craving I want you to ask yourself do you feel like your swelling with opportunity? If you are not, you are going to have to put that aside for now and stay in the pain of going through the process of building a business. If you don't get the feeling that things are swelling with opportunity and you want to go out and spend that paycheck you just got, maybe it's time to take a step back. Maybe it's time to feel the pains of building the systems and processes of your business instead of escaping and feeling like you have arrived.
  • ​There is something more significant for you and you know that; stay in that pain right now. Be aware of your journey, aware of your behaviors and patterns. If you are going through peaks and valleys in your business, there is something there that needs to be identified. Something there that you are running away from, soothing your short term pain. 
  • ​When you quit and refuse to get up early, you have satisfied that pain by sleeping in and not doing the videos you needed to do. By saying that today is not a good day to do it, then you will feel out of your integrity later on when you are trying to create that space in the evening. The process must be that you are going to continue to do this so I can reap the rewards.
  • ​You need to ask yourself if you do this, will it lead to what I want in the future? Yes or no? Then weigh that against the outcome, not an impulse; not on a bread basket that will cause us to give up on all of our convictions. The pain is not bad, and sometimes we have to sit in there, we never create big things when we are feeling good. We are usually celebrating when we feel good; it's the pain that we learn the most from. It's the pain where we test ourselves and understand what we are made of.
  • ​If we sit in that pain as opposed to soothing it you will discover more about yourself then you realize. At least that is what has happened to the people that I know and me. I wonder how some of these triathletes are well off, CEO's of their own companies, very successful business owners and entrepreneurs; they dive into these pains to learn more about themselves. They understand that they must live in pain to see something more significant for themselves. 
  • ​The pain isn't always meant to debilitate you; it's meant to build you. That is where it ends, but we try to avoid it by making short term decisions, buying things, and going away when we shouldn't. What is the real reason why we want to soothe the pain instantly? That is the question. It's hard to always say no to family and deal with that guilt. When you go out when things are in abundance, and your bank account is swelling with money, it's a different game; there is no guilt. 
  • ​Giving up on the short term satisfaction makes for a greater outcome. It is always a matter of reflecting on your behaviors and patterns because you have all of the answers to get what you want. My job is to remind you and give you a different perspective so you can apply it to your own life. Ask yourself where in your life are you going through that right now? Not through my experiences or what my kids are going through, I am trying to trigger memories in your life because you are probably going through it right now.
  • ​I need you to analyze it then and discover why you do certain things and stop doing others. That's the game right now, learning more about yourself.

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A.Z. & Associates Real Estate Group - 2019