with A.Z. Araujo - Episode 43:

Problems Left Unattended

with A.Z. Araujo - Episode 43:

Problems Left Unattended

CUSTOM JAVASCRIPT / HTML
Problems unattended have a habit of becoming crisis, and avoiding crucial conversations essentially gives others the green light not to change. Being talked down to by a client or a spouse is demeaning, but allowing it to continue is the issue. Where are you avoiding an issue only to allow it free reign in your life? You need to realize that avoidance doesn’t make the problem disappear; it only breeds it into crisis. 
Avoiding the Issue
  • ​There are times I like to relax and decompress, and this weekend, I had the opportunity to do that. I watched a movie on Netflix called “King.” It is about King Henry, the V. It was loosely based on historical events, but the plot is still very relevant today.
  • ​This young king had a problem with his father, who was dying; he didn't like the way that he handled the kingdom. He was always in conflict and at war with a lot of bloodshed. When he became king, he swore to rule differently, and he was going to correct all of the ills that his father that his caused to other kingdoms. 
  • ​It's not easy when you are in a place of problems and issues, to disregard who you once were, and move forward from that. I remember going through that in my marriage, trying to cut the head off of the past to move forward. I didn't feel my past could be held against me because I was a new person. It's not that easy because there are emotions and feelings attached to that person we once were. 
  • ​It's a complicated process because those around us have to become accustomed to the new person that you are. In this movie, there was a lot of history and animosity between the different kingdoms. He tried to avoid some of the issues that his father had left behind; some saw him as a weak king, and he felt some other countries were laughing at him. There was a coup raging against him, even those he trusted were conspiring against him because they saw him as weak. 
  • ​One of the king's advisors told him that, “Problems that are left unattended have a habit of becoming a crisis.” If he didn't deal with it now, it would become a more significant issue. At times when you deal with specific problems, it can get ugly. Carla and I have had numerous crucial conversations where it became a matter of standing up for what we each wanted from our relationship and business. It's not pretty at all. When there are many sides to conflict, the other side might not agree with you immediately. 
  • ​Many stay at home Moms don't get the respect they deserve when trying to break free from that role; they are still seen as a stay at home and not the business person they have become. Until she takes a stand for herself, things will not change until she has that crucial conversation. Nothing progresses because they don't deal with the problem at hand.
Off With Their Heads!
  • The same thing happened with the King; he needed to have those crucial conversations and take a stand for his position and not avoid it. When he heard from his advisor, there was a coup conspiring against him; it sparked something within him. He didn't want to see bloodshed, but he knew things had to get ugly before he would be taken seriously. He decided to behead two of his advisors because they were conspiring against him. Things began to change after he took a stand; he ended up declaring war on France in this movie, and he won the battle through his leadership. Because he faced the problem, he became known as one of the greatest Kings of all time in England. It wasn't through an iron fist; it was through doing the right things. 
  • ​There are things you are avoiding in your relationships and business, things you need to stand up too. You aren't being confident in your marketing and proud of what you are doing. This creates more problems for you as you are dragged down by the difficulties of your siblings and parents. You are sacrificing your happiness; you are avoiding the issues in your life, and they are only going to get bigger. 
  • ​​When you avoid these problems, three things happen. 
  • ​1. When you avoid the problem, it becomes worse. Think about how many times you have avoided something, and you are now dealing with a worse problem. When you avoid it, the problem doesn't stay the same; it becomes a more significant issue. I have avoided issues with the IRS in the past, and they wanted to freeze my assets. If I had only had that crucial conversation, it would never have escalated to the problem it became. When you make things worse, the stress is immense, and there is collateral damage. 
  • ​2. It leads to other problems. Avoiding that one issue for me led to more significant issues in my marriage. I was under duress and continually thinking about the issue. The collateral damage we inflict upon others when we avoid problems, we don't realize how big that problem is. My mother avoided her issues in her childhood and marriage and became depressed, and it affected us immensely. I resented her for avoiding her issues and the problems in her past and her marriage to my Dad. Sickness for kids can come from stress from their mother; my daughter has respiratory problems, and it made me think about how that incurred. It's not hereditary, but it happened during the time that Carla and I were going through significant turmoil, and there was collateral damage. Now my daughter has to deal with her asthma because we were unable to resolve our conflicts. When we avoid it, we put stress on ourselves and our children. Some of you are avoiding marketing every day, which is placing duress on your family. If you don't stand up for yourself with your spouse, who speaks to you in the wrong way, you are telling them it is okay for them to do so. I used to talk to Carla in a very condescending way; before she would avoid it so, I would come at her harder. It came to the point that she was talking to me that way; to avoid the conflict, I would avoid her. The more we avoided conflict, the harsher it got; it went both ways. We were both in the wrong, but the person who allows that to happen is also in the wrong.
  • Some of you are in that place; you are allowing individuals to talk to you in a certain way, and it is keeping you from building a business that matters and is profitable. There will be collateral damage to your personal and physical health and your kids. Avoiding issues leads to other problems. Facing a problem is no easy task, and it won't change overnight. Doing videos and putting yourself out there is tough, but you are making it worse on yourself by avoiding it. When you face problems, don't be the irrational person in the conversation; but today is the day you start to face the difficulties you have been avoiding. Stop living in a life of scarcity, which forces you to take it when your client condescendingly speaks to you. You make it from them and then unleash on your family. Do you have the courage to take a stand for yourself and have these crucial conversations? 

  • 3. It can be all-consuming; nothing else matters. When you avoid things in your marriage, you are now going through a bitter separation, and nothing else matters but that. You were hoping things would get better, and you didn't end things before they got ugly. When something is all-consuming, there is no growth in your business, and you get stuck. It all started with one little problem, making a simple video or sending out a text message or email. Getting out of your house to hold an Open House, it started with that now you are in a financial bind; it started with someone speaking to you harshly, and now you are being humiliated in front of others. When we avoid things, they get bigger and cause collateral damage and become all-consuming. Some days you have to chop off some heads. King Henry realized from that day forward that there were more significant issues to deal with. Peace and harmony had to come on the back of conflict and blood.
What Are You Avoiding?
  • Crucial conversations and taking a stand for what you want; what is that for you? What conversation will you have today? You can no longer tolerate someone speaking to you that way; your business not functioning as it is; it is your decision today. One year from now, it is going to get much worse, I promise you. 
  • ​Carla and I have gone through our fair share. I will not tolerate being spoken to in a certain way, and neither does she. Things got a lot better because we both wanted the same thing. If you avoid it, the other person isn't aware that they are doing anything wrong. The only person simmering, and upset is the one who is unwilling to talk about it. 
  • ​What are you avoiding today? Life is always teaching us these lessons that can be applied to our lives. Some of you are avoiding the essential things that you need to take a stand for today. Are you avoiding getting a transaction coordinator, a conflict at home; start tying the issues you are avoiding the issues that you can't get passed. It begins today; stand up for your health and start choosing the right foods. Is your business not working? Become more conscious about how you market today and stop avoiding it.

More Episodes

CUSTOM JAVASCRIPT / HTML
Problems unattended have a habit of becoming crisis, and avoiding crucial conversations essentially gives others the green light not to change. Being talked down to by a client or a spouse is demeaning, but allowing it to continue is the issue. Where are you avoiding an issue only to allow it free reign in your life? You need to realize that avoidance doesn’t make the problem disappear; it only breeds it into crisis. 
Avoiding the Issue
  • ​There are times I like to relax and decompress, and this weekend, I had the opportunity to do that. I watched a movie on Netflix called “King.” It is about King Henry, the V. It was loosely based on historical events, but the plot is still very relevant today.
  • ​This young king had a problem with his father, who was dying; he didn't like the way that he handled the kingdom. He was always in conflict and at war with a lot of bloodshed. When he became king, he swore to rule differently, and he was going to correct all of the ills that his father that his caused to other kingdoms. 
  • ​It's not easy when you are in a place of problems and issues, to disregard who you once were, and move forward from that. I remember going through that in my marriage, trying to cut the head off of the past to move forward. I didn't feel my past could be held against me because I was a new person. It's not that easy because there are emotions and feelings attached to that person we once were. 
  • ​It's a complicated process because those around us have to become accustomed to the new person that you are. In this movie, there was a lot of history and animosity between the different kingdoms. He tried to avoid some of the issues that his father had left behind; some saw him as a weak king, and he felt some other countries were laughing at him. There was a coup raging against him, even those he trusted were conspiring against him because they saw him as weak. 
  • ​One of the king's advisors told him that, “Problems that are left unattended have a habit of becoming a crisis.” If he didn't deal with it now, it would become a more significant issue. At times when you deal with specific problems, it can get ugly. Carla and I have had numerous crucial conversations where it became a matter of standing up for what we each wanted from our relationship and business. It's not pretty at all. When there are many sides to conflict, the other side might not agree with you immediately. 
  • ​Many stay at home Moms don't get the respect they deserve when trying to break free from that role; they are still seen as a stay at home and not the business person they have become. Until she takes a stand for herself, things will not change until she has that crucial conversation. Nothing progresses because they don't deal with the problem at hand.
Off With Their Heads!
  • The same thing happened with the King; he needed to have those crucial conversations and take a stand for his position and not avoid it. When he heard from his advisor, there was a coup conspiring against him; it sparked something within him. He didn't want to see bloodshed, but he knew things had to get ugly before he would be taken seriously. He decided to behead two of his advisors because they were conspiring against him. Things began to change after he took a stand; he ended up declaring war on France in this movie, and he won the battle through his leadership. Because he faced the problem, he became known as one of the greatest Kings of all time in England. It wasn't through an iron fist; it was through doing the right things. 
  • ​There are things you are avoiding in your relationships and business, things you need to stand up too. You aren't being confident in your marketing and proud of what you are doing. This creates more problems for you as you are dragged down by the difficulties of your siblings and parents. You are sacrificing your happiness; you are avoiding the issues in your life, and they are only going to get bigger. 
  • ​​When you avoid these problems, three things happen. 
  • ​1. When you avoid the problem, it becomes worse. Think about how many times you have avoided something, and you are now dealing with a worse problem. When you avoid it, the problem doesn't stay the same; it becomes a more significant issue. I have avoided issues with the IRS in the past, and they wanted to freeze my assets. If I had only had that crucial conversation, it would never have escalated to the problem it became. When you make things worse, the stress is immense, and there is collateral damage. 
  • ​2. It leads to other problems. Avoiding that one issue for me led to more significant issues in my marriage. I was under duress and continually thinking about the issue. The collateral damage we inflict upon others when we avoid problems, we don't realize how big that problem is. My mother avoided her issues in her childhood and marriage and became depressed, and it affected us immensely. I resented her for avoiding her issues and the problems in her past and her marriage to my Dad. Sickness for kids can come from stress from their mother; my daughter has respiratory problems, and it made me think about how that incurred. It's not hereditary, but it happened during the time that Carla and I were going through significant turmoil, and there was collateral damage. Now my daughter has to deal with her asthma because we were unable to resolve our conflicts. When we avoid it, we put stress on ourselves and our children. Some of you are avoiding marketing every day, which is placing duress on your family. If you don't stand up for yourself with your spouse, who speaks to you in the wrong way, you are telling them it is okay for them to do so. I used to talk to Carla in a very condescending way; before she would avoid it so, I would come at her harder. It came to the point that she was talking to me that way; to avoid the conflict, I would avoid her. The more we avoided conflict, the harsher it got; it went both ways. We were both in the wrong, but the person who allows that to happen is also in the wrong.
  • Some of you are in that place; you are allowing individuals to talk to you in a certain way, and it is keeping you from building a business that matters and is profitable. There will be collateral damage to your personal and physical health and your kids. Avoiding issues leads to other problems. Facing a problem is no easy task, and it won't change overnight. Doing videos and putting yourself out there is tough, but you are making it worse on yourself by avoiding it. When you face problems, don't be the irrational person in the conversation; but today is the day you start to face the difficulties you have been avoiding. Stop living in a life of scarcity, which forces you to take it when your client condescendingly speaks to you. You make it from them and then unleash on your family. Do you have the courage to take a stand for yourself and have these crucial conversations? 

  • 3. It can be all-consuming; nothing else matters. When you avoid things in your marriage, you are now going through a bitter separation, and nothing else matters but that. You were hoping things would get better, and you didn't end things before they got ugly. When something is all-consuming, there is no growth in your business, and you get stuck. It all started with one little problem, making a simple video or sending out a text message or email. Getting out of your house to hold an Open House, it started with that now you are in a financial bind; it started with someone speaking to you harshly, and now you are being humiliated in front of others. When we avoid things, they get bigger and cause collateral damage and become all-consuming. Some days you have to chop off some heads. King Henry realized from that day forward that there were more significant issues to deal with. Peace and harmony had to come on the back of conflict and blood.
What Are You Avoiding?
  • Crucial conversations and taking a stand for what you want; what is that for you? What conversation will you have today? You can no longer tolerate someone speaking to you that way; your business not functioning as it is; it is your decision today. One year from now, it is going to get much worse, I promise you. 
  • ​Carla and I have gone through our fair share. I will not tolerate being spoken to in a certain way, and neither does she. Things got a lot better because we both wanted the same thing. If you avoid it, the other person isn't aware that they are doing anything wrong. The only person simmering, and upset is the one who is unwilling to talk about it. 
  • ​What are you avoiding today? Life is always teaching us these lessons that can be applied to our lives. Some of you are avoiding the essential things that you need to take a stand for today. Are you avoiding getting a transaction coordinator, a conflict at home; start tying the issues you are avoiding the issues that you can't get passed. It begins today; stand up for your health and start choosing the right foods. Is your business not working? Become more conscious about how you market today and stop avoiding it.

More Episodes



A.Z. & Associates Real Estate Group - 2019