with A.Z. Araujo - Episode 80:

Do You Mean It?

with A.Z. Araujo - Episode 80:

Do You Mean It?

CUSTOM JAVASCRIPT / HTML
What happens when you do get beat? What happens in your mind, with the thoughts, frustrations, and fears when they do take over? How do you overcome it? Today I am joined again by Carla Araujo, my wife, and business partner, as we further discuss the fire that drives us through all of the moving parts of life. If you don't push through the challenges, your dreams will never become a reality. Until you are honest with yourself and cut the bullshit, you will be stuck in the very place you are today. Get real, get honest, get moving, and don't stop; No one will beat you today but you.
Anxiety and Accountability
  • ​Last week Mindset Mastery was completely on fire, and I have personally listened to it five times, including twice today during my run. It got me fired up and in the place, I needed to be. All of us need to hear the right things and be around the right people, to inspire us to take the steps necessary to get what we want. 
  • ​I had so much positive feedback about the energy that Carla brought along with the truth; if we don't take the truth in the right context, it can be offensive. That is never the case or the goal here. The goal is to allow you to see your truths and the lies that you can be telling yourself to achieve what you want. We all want big things; I have personally heard it from you telling me where you want to go with your family, body, and your business.
  • ​I want to welcome back Carla Araujo to my podcast. Carla gave so many truth bombs last week, some of it struck a chord and considered offensive if you are outside of this brokerage. That is never the case. Carla is passionate when she speaks as it is through her life experience. It's not against anyone, but she has been there, done that.
  • ​It takes a bullshitter to know a bullshitter, and Carla doesn't have time to waste on anyone who comes at her with a bullshit story. Certain individuals trigger me, which is because I see many of my qualities in a particular individual. If they quit quickly or have an untrue story and give themselves a false sense of accomplishment, it triggers me because that was a story I used to play off of. 
  • ​Last week we talked about being more focused on being a competitor vs. the competition. I am a competitor vs. worrying about the competition. The phrase also means that no one is going to beat me. That phrase fired me up today as I was running; as I did my sprints, that phrase kept running through my head. What happens when you do get beat? What happens in your mind, with the thoughts, frustrations, and fears when they do take over? How do you overcome it? There will be a day where you do get beat.
  • ​Carla still has her moments of anxiety that kept her from leaving the house, those were the days she couldn't move, and her body was numb. Those were the days she felt no one knew she existed, so it was okay to disappear. She could move at a slow level, and no one would be watching because they weren't expecting anything from her anyway. Carla wasn't giving herself enough credit. The more she put herself out there in a video a few years ago, she was done with everything. She made an anxiety video as she was leaving the gym, and she had hundreds of phone calls, texts, emails, and messages. 
  • ​The more consistent she was about putting herself out there, not just with videos but also in competing, business, life, and kids, Carla felt like she was being held accountable by so many. The times that she didn't feel like doing it, she knew she had to show up. There are so many moving parts in our life if one thing fails and you aren't continuously moving, other parts of your life will fail. Then a year or two passes, and you can't figure out what happened. You know what happened, you neglected a part of your life; what holds her accountable is putting herself out there regularly.
Stop the Applause; You Haven’t Done Shit
  • People avoid putting themselves out there because it's uncomfortable. If you are comfortable talking about your business, you will, but if you aren't comfortable talking about your personal life, you won't do it. It depends on what you are confident in, and that is the thing you will do.
  • ​If they are uncomfortable with their weight, for example, they won't talk about it because they don't want to be held accountable. One of the reasons Carla put herself out there about her anxiety, depression, business, failures, and marriage is because she knew she had to work on all areas of her life. Carla knew the more she put herself out there, she couldn't hide, and she then couldn't be ashamed or embarrassed by it. She might as well go all out and be confident about it. She has to show up every day, and that is her accountability. 
  • ​Every day, Carla is competing against herself, and no one is going to beat her. We both use social media platforms as a way to hold ourselves accountable. The once in blue moon value creators, is they make big announcements occasionally and get positive feedback from it. The problem with announcing only our big goals is that we don't hold ourselves accountable by measuring or taking the actions required to lead up to it; our brains are tricked into thinking we have accomplished it.
  • ​When people get behind us and give us great feedback, it makes your brain think you have already accomplished the goal. You are now less likely to achieve it. It makes you less likely to achieve the goal in the future. Carla says, have big goals and ambitions, but it is what you do daily that holds yourself accountable; how you back the target with the action. 
  • ​When Carla was going for her IFBB card, she managed the portfolio of properties that we owned. There was a property that she picked up two months before she was to leave for New York for a show; her admin forgot to insure the home. Carla was getting off the subway, headed to the competition, and got a phone call the house had flooded and came down. Carla told the admin to call the restoration company and the insurance company because she couldn't concentrate on the house. 
  • ​Carla’s main goal was the pro card, she is in New York, and nothing was going to take that away from her. She already knew that whatever happened at the show, moving forward was dependent on her continuing to move forward. Carla told her coach no matter the result of the show; she was ready to train for the next, knowing that this impending mess with the rental property was waiting for her. 
  • ​Carla kept the focus on her fitness journey, despite all the moving parts of her life. Besides her personal life, challenges, and obstacles, our business was not doing well. She knew that somehow everything would work out if she kept going. Twenty minutes after the first call, her admin called to say the house wasn't insured. Somehow all things always work out. Carla did the show, came home, dealing with the house, and it all worked out.
Every Little Thing is Gonna Be Alright
  • It all worked out. What if Carla's mind would have stayed focused on the first phone call about the house? There was nothing she could do; the house was in Phoenix, and she was in New York. Carla is wired to continue moving; if we stop instead, that is precisely what happens; we stop. You celebrate where you are, shit starts to happen, and you push back, but you stay in that place. You haven't won shit yet. Carla never feels like a winner because she is competing with herself daily, and no one will beat her. The only way someone will beat her is if she stops to cry about the circumstances happening around her. 
  • ​Carla’s coach couldn't believe she wanted to talk about the next show while waiting to go out on stage for the first one. She called herself out and wanted to make sure they were on point. Somehow everything always works out when you don't stop. I love that Carla doesn't lose focus on the ultimate goal. She could have been satisfied that she said she would compete, and she did. Carla got the accolades and great feedback, and the problems at home didn't steal her focus or stop her.
  • ​We will give up if we shift our focus from our goals and onto our situation. You have to keep the focus on all things and keep moving forward. Carla’s focus was her pro card, but wasn't oblivious to what was happening around her; she didn't let it stress her out, and that is the balance. You can't lose your focus. Sometimes our focus is lost when we get the win, the accolades, and then our mind easily shifts on to the worries and obstacles. You get busy with the things that are no longer in alignment with your goal.
  • ​I wrote something that goes along with this thought process. We have the ultimate goal, we announce it, I am doing a Triathlon, I am doing an Ironman; I quickly noticed others were announcing their goals as well. A process happened within that; congratulations came, and I haven't done shit yet. All I said was I was competing in an Ironman. My mind got fed with a false sense of accomplishment. The dopamine in my mind is feeding my body, and I was feeling good. When you post things, you get a lot of “Good Job, Way to Go, You're Killing It.” then it starts to fade. Your motivation starts to fade, and the dopamine is gone. You convince yourself you can do it on your own.
  • ​I wrote something that goes along with this thought process. We have the ultimate goal, we announce it, I am doing a Triathlon, I am doing an Ironman; I quickly noticed others were announcing their goals as well. A process happened within that; congratulations came, and I haven't done shit yet. All I said was I was competing in an Ironman. My mind got fed with a false sense of accomplishment. The dopamine in my mind is feeding my body, and I was feeling good. When you post things, you get a lot of “Good Job, Way to Go, You're Killing It.” then it starts to fade. Your motivation starts to fade, and the dopamine is gone. You convince yourself you can do it on your own.
  • ​I chose to train with a group, because of the accountability. You then convince yourself that you can hold yourself accountable, and you know what to do. The vision slowly starts to fade; the excuses begin. It's too early; I'm not spending enough time with my family. We have a hero complex within us; we have to do this for our family; you can't train or work; I can't compete because I am neglecting my family. That's a lie because you can do all things. Then it's too much money; how many people are convinced they can't move forward without certain things? They begin to buy into that thought and begin to make up other lies in our head of why we can't do it. Your body needs rest; how often is that? You hire a personal trainer, but after the first six weeks, the work behind the scenes keeps going, but we convince ourselves that our body needs rest. You start sleeping in, you miss a few times, and you stop going altogether. You gain weight, but it's only five pounds, then you can't stop gaining. You lose yourself, and you lose your confidence. You retract to your lowest form of habit. 
Every Little Thing is Gonna Be Alright
  • It all worked out. What if Carla's mind would have stayed focused on the first phone call about the house? There was nothing she could do; the house was in Phoenix, and she was in New York. Carla is wired to continue moving; if we stop instead, that is precisely what happens; we stop. You celebrate where you are, shit starts to happen, and you push back, but you stay in that place. You haven't won shit yet. Carla never feels like a winner because she is competing with herself daily, and no one will beat her. The only way someone will beat her is if she stops to cry about the circumstances happening around her. 
  • ​Carla’s coach couldn't believe she wanted to talk about the next show while waiting to go out on stage for the first one. She called herself out and wanted to make sure they were on point. Somehow everything always works out when you don't stop. I love that Carla doesn't lose focus on the ultimate goal. She could have been satisfied that she said she would compete, and she did. Carla got the accolades and great feedback, and the problems at home didn't steal her focus or stop her.
  • ​We will give up if we shift our focus from our goals and onto our situation. You have to keep the focus on all things and keep moving forward. Carla’s focus was her pro card, but wasn't oblivious to what was happening around her; she didn't let it stress her out, and that is the balance. You can't lose your focus. Sometimes our focus is lost when we get the win, the accolades, and then our mind easily shifts on to the worries and obstacles. You get busy with the things that are no longer in alignment with your goal.
  • ​I wrote something that goes along with this thought process. We have the ultimate goal, we announce it, I am doing a Triathlon, I am doing an Ironman; I quickly noticed others were announcing their goals as well. A process happened within that; congratulations came, and I haven't done shit yet. All I said was I was competing in an Ironman. My mind got fed with a false sense of accomplishment. The dopamine in my mind is feeding my body, and I was feeling good. When you post things, you get a lot of “Good Job, Way to Go, You're Killing It.” then it starts to fade. Your motivation starts to fade, and the dopamine is gone. You convince yourself you can do it on your own.
  • ​I wrote something that goes along with this thought process. We have the ultimate goal, we announce it, I am doing a Triathlon, I am doing an Ironman; I quickly noticed others were announcing their goals as well. A process happened within that; congratulations came, and I haven't done shit yet. All I said was I was competing in an Ironman. My mind got fed with a false sense of accomplishment. The dopamine in my mind is feeding my body, and I was feeling good. When you post things, you get a lot of “Good Job, Way to Go, You're Killing It.” then it starts to fade. Your motivation starts to fade, and the dopamine is gone. You convince yourself you can do it on your own.
  • ​I chose to train with a group, because of the accountability. You then convince yourself that you can hold yourself accountable, and you know what to do. The vision slowly starts to fade; the excuses begin. It's too early; I'm not spending enough time with my family. We have a hero complex within us; we have to do this for our family; you can't train or work; I can't compete because I am neglecting my family. That's a lie because you can do all things. Then it's too much money; how many people are convinced they can't move forward without certain things? They begin to buy into that thought and begin to make up other lies in our head of why we can't do it. Your body needs rest; how often is that? You hire a personal trainer, but after the first six weeks, the work behind the scenes keeps going, but we convince ourselves that our body needs rest. You start sleeping in, you miss a few times, and you stop going altogether. You gain weight, but it's only five pounds, then you can't stop gaining. You lose yourself, and you lose your confidence. You retract to your lowest form of habit. 
Accountability is King
  • We have seen this with our programs, Carla has seen it with her 12-week Targets. Individuals are hyped up, they are getting compliments, and slowly all of the atta boys start to dissipate. They go through the thought process that they can do it on their own. They can hold themselves accountable; they slowly start to hide and go back to their lowest form of habit. 
  • ​I have experienced this in my coaching program. People tell me, “AZ, I got enough of what I need to hear from you; I want to learn something different so that I will move on.” Slowly but surely, they begin to go through this thought process; they can do it on their own, We all can do it, but I am speaking of the accountability aspect, and not getting that false sense of achievement from something you haven't accomplished. The ultimate goal is to pass the finish line at the Iron Man; it's not the everyday stuff I post, but the daily things are there to support the ultimate goal. 
  • ​Many of us are used to announcing what we want to do, and getting the false sense of accomplishment from all of the compliments. Then the vision fades. When Carla was at the national level of competition, everybody knew her name, and she became accustomed to it. At one point, she can remember feeling lonely, she was her only competition, and she was up against these other girls; she didn't have anyone to hype her up. The first year everyone was excited for her, and it began to die down after a few years. 
  • ​When Carla got her pro card and came off stage, her coach looked at her and said that she was one of them now; the best of the best. She was overwhelmed, and it filled her with anxiety; she had to keep going to get to the Olympia. It was too much for her; it felt good, but it was no longer fun and became a painful job. Carla began to push back on her posts; it became a depressing game, mentally and physically. When you start to operate at that high level, people get used to it. It takes the ultimate goal to pull you forward because, through compliments alone, we won't get there. Maybe that is the same reason I used to sabotage my business. I would be in the gutter and then work hard to get us out of it. I wanted to feel like a hero, and that I was accomplishing something great. 
  • ​I think that is why people continue to lose the same 20 pounds over and over again. They know how to get there, they get some accolades, a sense of accomplishment, and then gain the weight back. It's a cycle they repeat every year. 
  • ​When Carla realized the Olympia title would take her back to square one, she would have to put in 10 times the work; she needed more muscle; she also knew the hype would come down. Carla started to create her fitness journey through something as simple as creating her tank tops. It started slow, but the more she put herself out there, the more fire she came under. 
  • ​When you stop doing it, people will ask you about it. For Carla to hold herself accountable, she had to put herself out there. She got her tops, put out a journal, started an app, and DTW Women; Carla began hosting events, two-day events, she knew she couldn't stop. It felt too good; she loves the stage and the lights. It's not the attention but the impact she is making on others; those are the people holding her accountable to keep moving forward. When the hype slows down, you need to create more hype on your own. 
  • ​The fitness aspect helped Carla grow in her business; her mind was clear; she was confident, powerful, and ready to take everything over. The relationship with her kids started to develop; they watched her do the right things instead of Carla, merely telling them they should. Now the girls are writing in their journals and are in the gym; your voice eventually becomes nothing; it's your actions that your kids watch. 
  • ​The more Carla put herself out there, the more content she created, the more she developed. Getting her IFBB Pro Card was not easy; it was all-consuming for seven years. That bled into her business, marriage, and her kids in a positive way. You have to continue to present challenges to yourself and not become sucked in by a false sense of accomplishment through the compliments you get. You post, continuing to put yourself out there as a means to show how you operate. When you don't ultimately lose 40 pounds or complete Iron Man instead of retracted, you need to keep moving towards the goal and document it to stay true to the accountability. 
  • ​That will allow you to see the more significant challenges and see bigger things for yourself. To get to this point, this level that we are at is tough, and people don't realize the challenges we have taken on. There are days that we don't talk because we are at each other's throats. We missed birthdays when Carla’s Dad was sick; she missed opportunities to say her goodbyes. She has had to stay focused on her goal because things would happen if she was there for them or not. Emotions would be out the window; her family would be up and down; everything would happen anyway. She had to stay focused on the ultimate goal, and hopefully, those that supported her would still be there. And they are. Even Carla's Dad, until his last breath, told her to continue to live her life; life must go on. 
  • ​Carla never looks back because she doesn't want regret to set in. This is how she runs, and some people might think she is cold-hearted. She has wired herself to know what she wants and how to get it. Carla isn't unhappy; she loves her life, the sacrifices she has made; Carla and I were close to divorce, and she would have been okay with that also, as long as she met her goal and was happy doing it.
In Closing
  • If you let it pull you apart and lose focus because of it, you will never get to that point. You will always ask yourself why, and you know why. Start looking at yourself with an honest eye. All of the moving parts are pulling you because you don't want to move forward on your ultimate goal. The first year Carla competed she had a broken toe, and no one knew it, she didn't want the pity. 
  • ​Carla can't pat you on the back and give you pity; that's not who she is. She finds someone else to do that because it is not her. She never coddled herself, so why would she do that for you? Carla never did that with our kids. She is loving and compassionate, very patient, and has many feelings. She will look you in the eye and call you out as a bullshitter. Stop bullshitting and start to tell yourself the truth; you are lazy, or the moving parts are pulling you apart, and you don't know what to do or how to get there. 
  • ​We don't have control when we allow those parts to pull at us. We allow it to take us down the wrong path, make excuses, or call ourselves out. Carla used to call herself out on her bullshit, and that is why she can call others out for their bullshit stories. Stories of why they can't or won't and why they will never get there. Carla realizes they can if they focus on what they ultimately want. 
  • ​Carla is pure fire, and you will want to listen to the last five minutes repeatedly to get it ingrained in your mind. You don't have to be an athlete to feel this feeling; the dopamine, the rush. Some of you are heavier, some are lighter, and whatever the H.I.I.T is for you. Going fast and then stopping, and when you get off the treadmill, you have a 20-second H.I.I.T, you're sweating, and you have an adrenaline rush; you feel like you can do anything. That is how life should feel day in and day out. When you get off the treadmill, you can think about how hard it was and stay there, knowing you have to do it again. Or, you can get off of the treadmill and embrace that feeling of power, knowing you got it done, and you stay there and keep going. You become better and better. 
  • ​Carla chose that it felt good, and that is where she wanted to go; she wanted more and more of it. That is how she is today. A few nights ago she was angry, she went outside and flipped an 80-pound tire; her goal was to do 30 reps, and she lost count after 70. She had been outside for 2 hours, flipping that tire. It felt too good to stop; the anger turned into passion, adrenaline, dopamine, and she couldn't stop. 
  • ​You can use that pain toward something that feels good or towards something that tears you down. Carla handled a flooded home, five days in New York, an argument with me over the house not being insured, she got 6th place in the competition and started to prep for the next. She told herself she was a beast, and she was going to do it all over again. Carla didn't allow all of the moving parts to bring her down; no one is going to beat her. She has wired herself over the years to understand that shit will happen, but somehow it always works out. 
  • ​Carla wouldn't be in the position she is today if she had dropped everything to get back to the flooded house; if things are bad now, they get really bad if you stop focusing and feeling empowered to do more. It sucks to be in the place where you know you left something on the table. 
  • ​Quit saying you don't know why you are broke; you can't lose weight, you have a broken marriage. I knew why the entire time; but, I wanted to blame Carla. You know why you can't pick up the camera and make selfie videos; you know more about yourself than anyone. No one can tell you what to do and how to do it. We can share our life experiences, but we can't tell you to do x,y, and z to get the results you are after. You need to go deep within yourself to discover what stops you from getting to the next step. The only way to do that is to sit and be honest with yourself. When you are only confident to do one out of three videos per week, why not the other two? Why do you lack confidence in one of the areas of relationships, health, yourself of business? 
  • ​Who are you? Do you know who you are to move forward with what you want? You can hire coaches, psychiatrists, and others to help you figure out your life. Unless you get honest with yourself, no one will be able to bring that to the surface. Raw honesty was the biggest game-changer for me because I began to take the lies I was telling myself as truth. When you peel back the layers, you will see that your entire life has been a facade; one big lie. Working on that, facing your insecurities will drop the facade. One of the reasons I didn't want to grow the brokerage is I was afraid to be in front of people; I would have to learn and teach. I was comfortable with who I was, and I wasn't comfortable with the idea of being someone greater. Slowly but surely, I gained confidence, learned to trust my voice and actions, and trusted my experiences; I can now convey a message powerful because of it. 
  • ​I was copying others initially because I thought that is what the marketplace needed; boxed training. It's the real and raw emotions and problems we have as humans daily; we are small business owners and aren't robots. We have to deal with all of the moving parts and navigate how to bring them together into one path, and that is a challenge. Often I would get picked apart by all of the moving parts. Now I have formed a Ferrari from it. You need to realize first where you are falling short and why you aren't confident to do certain things. 
  • ​Carla’s message has become powerful because she appreciates where she was, sees where she is now and has a goal in mind for the future. Sometimes you have to come back to the same place repeatedly because the first few times, you weren't honest and fully present. When we continuously go back, we learn who we are, through trial and error, getting better at what we want to do. We weren't honest with each other in the beginning; we were careful of what we said in fear of judgment. Now we do these podcasts and talk openly and honestly. We didn't know how to get to this point, but it was through consistency that we built the confidence and the armor to get to this place. If we get opinions that aren't positive, we know how to move forward and not get picked apart. 
  • ​Think about what you are getting held back by. Maybe it's your marketing, your confidence to direct clients towards a decision, perhaps it's your assertiveness; you have to proclaim who you are and what you have to do. Do that powerfully from the start by putting in the deposits, showcasing who you are what you are about. Do it for yourself, and it will build your confidence, get you out of your comfort zone, and allow you to build something great. Align your actions with what you want; mitigate all of the moving parts, and use it to your benefit. Build the vehicle that will move you forward. Thank you for joining Carla and me, and hopefully, something that was said will give you the confidence to move powerfully. 

More Episodes

CUSTOM JAVASCRIPT / HTML
What happens when you do get beat? What happens in your mind, with the thoughts, frustrations, and fears when they do take over? How do you overcome it? Today I am joined again by Carla Araujo, my wife, and business partner, as we further discuss the fire that drives us through all of the moving parts of life. If you don't push through the challenges, your dreams will never become a reality. Until you are honest with yourself and cut the bullshit, you will be stuck in the very place you are today. Get real, get honest, get moving, and don't stop; No one will beat you today but you.
Anxiety and Accountability
  • ​Last week Mindset Mastery was completely on fire, and I have personally listened to it five times, including twice today during my run. It got me fired up and in the place, I needed to be. All of us need to hear the right things and be around the right people, to inspire us to take the steps necessary to get what we want. 
  • ​I had so much positive feedback about the energy that Carla brought along with the truth; if we don't take the truth in the right context, it can be offensive. That is never the case or the goal here. The goal is to allow you to see your truths and the lies that you can be telling yourself to achieve what you want. We all want big things; I have personally heard it from you telling me where you want to go with your family, body, and your business.
  • ​I want to welcome back Carla Araujo to my podcast. Carla gave so many truth bombs last week, some of it struck a chord and considered offensive if you are outside of this brokerage. That is never the case. Carla is passionate when she speaks as it is through her life experience. It's not against anyone, but she has been there, done that.
  • ​It takes a bullshitter to know a bullshitter, and Carla doesn't have time to waste on anyone who comes at her with a bullshit story. Certain individuals trigger me, which is because I see many of my qualities in a particular individual. If they quit quickly or have an untrue story and give themselves a false sense of accomplishment, it triggers me because that was a story I used to play off of. 
  • ​Last week we talked about being more focused on being a competitor vs. the competition. I am a competitor vs. worrying about the competition. The phrase also means that no one is going to beat me. That phrase fired me up today as I was running; as I did my sprints, that phrase kept running through my head. What happens when you do get beat? What happens in your mind, with the thoughts, frustrations, and fears when they do take over? How do you overcome it? There will be a day where you do get beat.
  • ​Carla still has her moments of anxiety that kept her from leaving the house, those were the days she couldn't move, and her body was numb. Those were the days she felt no one knew she existed, so it was okay to disappear. She could move at a slow level, and no one would be watching because they weren't expecting anything from her anyway. Carla wasn't giving herself enough credit. The more she put herself out there in a video a few years ago, she was done with everything. She made an anxiety video as she was leaving the gym, and she had hundreds of phone calls, texts, emails, and messages. 
  • ​The more consistent she was about putting herself out there, not just with videos but also in competing, business, life, and kids, Carla felt like she was being held accountable by so many. The times that she didn't feel like doing it, she knew she had to show up. There are so many moving parts in our life if one thing fails and you aren't continuously moving, other parts of your life will fail. Then a year or two passes, and you can't figure out what happened. You know what happened, you neglected a part of your life; what holds her accountable is putting herself out there regularly.
Stop the Applause; You Haven’t Done Shit
  • People avoid putting themselves out there because it's uncomfortable. If you are comfortable talking about your business, you will, but if you aren't comfortable talking about your personal life, you won't do it. It depends on what you are confident in, and that is the thing you will do.
  • ​If they are uncomfortable with their weight, for example, they won't talk about it because they don't want to be held accountable. One of the reasons Carla put herself out there about her anxiety, depression, business, failures, and marriage is because she knew she had to work on all areas of her life. Carla knew the more she put herself out there, she couldn't hide, and she then couldn't be ashamed or embarrassed by it. She might as well go all out and be confident about it. She has to show up every day, and that is her accountability. 
  • ​Every day, Carla is competing against herself, and no one is going to beat her. We both use social media platforms as a way to hold ourselves accountable. The once in blue moon value creators, is they make big announcements occasionally and get positive feedback from it. The problem with announcing only our big goals is that we don't hold ourselves accountable by measuring or taking the actions required to lead up to it; our brains are tricked into thinking we have accomplished it.
  • ​When people get behind us and give us great feedback, it makes your brain think you have already accomplished the goal. You are now less likely to achieve it. It makes you less likely to achieve the goal in the future. Carla says, have big goals and ambitions, but it is what you do daily that holds yourself accountable; how you back the target with the action. 
  • ​When Carla was going for her IFBB card, she managed the portfolio of properties that we owned. There was a property that she picked up two months before she was to leave for New York for a show; her admin forgot to insure the home. Carla was getting off the subway, headed to the competition, and got a phone call the house had flooded and came down. Carla told the admin to call the restoration company and the insurance company because she couldn't concentrate on the house. 
  • ​Carla’s main goal was the pro card, she is in New York, and nothing was going to take that away from her. She already knew that whatever happened at the show, moving forward was dependent on her continuing to move forward. Carla told her coach no matter the result of the show; she was ready to train for the next, knowing that this impending mess with the rental property was waiting for her. 
  • ​Carla kept the focus on her fitness journey, despite all the moving parts of her life. Besides her personal life, challenges, and obstacles, our business was not doing well. She knew that somehow everything would work out if she kept going. Twenty minutes after the first call, her admin called to say the house wasn't insured. Somehow all things always work out. Carla did the show, came home, dealing with the house, and it all worked out.
Every Little Thing is Gonna Be Alright
  • It all worked out. What if Carla's mind would have stayed focused on the first phone call about the house? There was nothing she could do; the house was in Phoenix, and she was in New York. Carla is wired to continue moving; if we stop instead, that is precisely what happens; we stop. You celebrate where you are, shit starts to happen, and you push back, but you stay in that place. You haven't won shit yet. Carla never feels like a winner because she is competing with herself daily, and no one will beat her. The only way someone will beat her is if she stops to cry about the circumstances happening around her. 
  • ​Carla’s coach couldn't believe she wanted to talk about the next show while waiting to go out on stage for the first one. She called herself out and wanted to make sure they were on point. Somehow everything always works out when you don't stop. I love that Carla doesn't lose focus on the ultimate goal. She could have been satisfied that she said she would compete, and she did. Carla got the accolades and great feedback, and the problems at home didn't steal her focus or stop her.
  • ​We will give up if we shift our focus from our goals and onto our situation. You have to keep the focus on all things and keep moving forward. Carla’s focus was her pro card, but wasn't oblivious to what was happening around her; she didn't let it stress her out, and that is the balance. You can't lose your focus. Sometimes our focus is lost when we get the win, the accolades, and then our mind easily shifts on to the worries and obstacles. You get busy with the things that are no longer in alignment with your goal.
  • ​I wrote something that goes along with this thought process. We have the ultimate goal, we announce it, I am doing a Triathlon, I am doing an Ironman; I quickly noticed others were announcing their goals as well. A process happened within that; congratulations came, and I haven't done shit yet. All I said was I was competing in an Ironman. My mind got fed with a false sense of accomplishment. The dopamine in my mind is feeding my body, and I was feeling good. When you post things, you get a lot of “Good Job, Way to Go, You're Killing It.” then it starts to fade. Your motivation starts to fade, and the dopamine is gone. You convince yourself you can do it on your own.
  • ​I wrote something that goes along with this thought process. We have the ultimate goal, we announce it, I am doing a Triathlon, I am doing an Ironman; I quickly noticed others were announcing their goals as well. A process happened within that; congratulations came, and I haven't done shit yet. All I said was I was competing in an Ironman. My mind got fed with a false sense of accomplishment. The dopamine in my mind is feeding my body, and I was feeling good. When you post things, you get a lot of “Good Job, Way to Go, You're Killing It.” then it starts to fade. Your motivation starts to fade, and the dopamine is gone. You convince yourself you can do it on your own.
  • ​I chose to train with a group, because of the accountability. You then convince yourself that you can hold yourself accountable, and you know what to do. The vision slowly starts to fade; the excuses begin. It's too early; I'm not spending enough time with my family. We have a hero complex within us; we have to do this for our family; you can't train or work; I can't compete because I am neglecting my family. That's a lie because you can do all things. Then it's too much money; how many people are convinced they can't move forward without certain things? They begin to buy into that thought and begin to make up other lies in our head of why we can't do it. Your body needs rest; how often is that? You hire a personal trainer, but after the first six weeks, the work behind the scenes keeps going, but we convince ourselves that our body needs rest. You start sleeping in, you miss a few times, and you stop going altogether. You gain weight, but it's only five pounds, then you can't stop gaining. You lose yourself, and you lose your confidence. You retract to your lowest form of habit. 
Every Little Thing is Gonna Be Alright
  • It all worked out. What if Carla's mind would have stayed focused on the first phone call about the house? There was nothing she could do; the house was in Phoenix, and she was in New York. Carla is wired to continue moving; if we stop instead, that is precisely what happens; we stop. You celebrate where you are, shit starts to happen, and you push back, but you stay in that place. You haven't won shit yet. Carla never feels like a winner because she is competing with herself daily, and no one will beat her. The only way someone will beat her is if she stops to cry about the circumstances happening around her. 
  • ​Carla’s coach couldn't believe she wanted to talk about the next show while waiting to go out on stage for the first one. She called herself out and wanted to make sure they were on point. Somehow everything always works out when you don't stop. I love that Carla doesn't lose focus on the ultimate goal. She could have been satisfied that she said she would compete, and she did. Carla got the accolades and great feedback, and the problems at home didn't steal her focus or stop her.
  • ​We will give up if we shift our focus from our goals and onto our situation. You have to keep the focus on all things and keep moving forward. Carla’s focus was her pro card, but wasn't oblivious to what was happening around her; she didn't let it stress her out, and that is the balance. You can't lose your focus. Sometimes our focus is lost when we get the win, the accolades, and then our mind easily shifts on to the worries and obstacles. You get busy with the things that are no longer in alignment with your goal.
  • ​I wrote something that goes along with this thought process. We have the ultimate goal, we announce it, I am doing a Triathlon, I am doing an Ironman; I quickly noticed others were announcing their goals as well. A process happened within that; congratulations came, and I haven't done shit yet. All I said was I was competing in an Ironman. My mind got fed with a false sense of accomplishment. The dopamine in my mind is feeding my body, and I was feeling good. When you post things, you get a lot of “Good Job, Way to Go, You're Killing It.” then it starts to fade. Your motivation starts to fade, and the dopamine is gone. You convince yourself you can do it on your own.
  • ​I wrote something that goes along with this thought process. We have the ultimate goal, we announce it, I am doing a Triathlon, I am doing an Ironman; I quickly noticed others were announcing their goals as well. A process happened within that; congratulations came, and I haven't done shit yet. All I said was I was competing in an Ironman. My mind got fed with a false sense of accomplishment. The dopamine in my mind is feeding my body, and I was feeling good. When you post things, you get a lot of “Good Job, Way to Go, You're Killing It.” then it starts to fade. Your motivation starts to fade, and the dopamine is gone. You convince yourself you can do it on your own.
  • ​I chose to train with a group, because of the accountability. You then convince yourself that you can hold yourself accountable, and you know what to do. The vision slowly starts to fade; the excuses begin. It's too early; I'm not spending enough time with my family. We have a hero complex within us; we have to do this for our family; you can't train or work; I can't compete because I am neglecting my family. That's a lie because you can do all things. Then it's too much money; how many people are convinced they can't move forward without certain things? They begin to buy into that thought and begin to make up other lies in our head of why we can't do it. Your body needs rest; how often is that? You hire a personal trainer, but after the first six weeks, the work behind the scenes keeps going, but we convince ourselves that our body needs rest. You start sleeping in, you miss a few times, and you stop going altogether. You gain weight, but it's only five pounds, then you can't stop gaining. You lose yourself, and you lose your confidence. You retract to your lowest form of habit. 
Accountability is King
  • We have seen this with our programs, Carla has seen it with her 12-week Targets. Individuals are hyped up, they are getting compliments, and slowly all of the atta boys start to dissipate. They go through the thought process that they can do it on their own. They can hold themselves accountable; they slowly start to hide and go back to their lowest form of habit. 
  • ​I have experienced this in my coaching program. People tell me, “AZ, I got enough of what I need to hear from you; I want to learn something different so that I will move on.” Slowly but surely, they begin to go through this thought process; they can do it on their own, We all can do it, but I am speaking of the accountability aspect, and not getting that false sense of achievement from something you haven't accomplished. The ultimate goal is to pass the finish line at the Iron Man; it's not the everyday stuff I post, but the daily things are there to support the ultimate goal. 
  • ​Many of us are used to announcing what we want to do, and getting the false sense of accomplishment from all of the compliments. Then the vision fades. When Carla was at the national level of competition, everybody knew her name, and she became accustomed to it. At one point, she can remember feeling lonely, she was her only competition, and she was up against these other girls; she didn't have anyone to hype her up. The first year everyone was excited for her, and it began to die down after a few years. 
  • ​When Carla got her pro card and came off stage, her coach looked at her and said that she was one of them now; the best of the best. She was overwhelmed, and it filled her with anxiety; she had to keep going to get to the Olympia. It was too much for her; it felt good, but it was no longer fun and became a painful job. Carla began to push back on her posts; it became a depressing game, mentally and physically. When you start to operate at that high level, people get used to it. It takes the ultimate goal to pull you forward because, through compliments alone, we won't get there. Maybe that is the same reason I used to sabotage my business. I would be in the gutter and then work hard to get us out of it. I wanted to feel like a hero, and that I was accomplishing something great. 
  • ​I think that is why people continue to lose the same 20 pounds over and over again. They know how to get there, they get some accolades, a sense of accomplishment, and then gain the weight back. It's a cycle they repeat every year. 
  • ​When Carla realized the Olympia title would take her back to square one, she would have to put in 10 times the work; she needed more muscle; she also knew the hype would come down. Carla started to create her fitness journey through something as simple as creating her tank tops. It started slow, but the more she put herself out there, the more fire she came under. 
  • ​When you stop doing it, people will ask you about it. For Carla to hold herself accountable, she had to put herself out there. She got her tops, put out a journal, started an app, and DTW Women; Carla began hosting events, two-day events, she knew she couldn't stop. It felt too good; she loves the stage and the lights. It's not the attention but the impact she is making on others; those are the people holding her accountable to keep moving forward. When the hype slows down, you need to create more hype on your own. 
  • ​The fitness aspect helped Carla grow in her business; her mind was clear; she was confident, powerful, and ready to take everything over. The relationship with her kids started to develop; they watched her do the right things instead of Carla, merely telling them they should. Now the girls are writing in their journals and are in the gym; your voice eventually becomes nothing; it's your actions that your kids watch. 
  • ​The more Carla put herself out there, the more content she created, the more she developed. Getting her IFBB Pro Card was not easy; it was all-consuming for seven years. That bled into her business, marriage, and her kids in a positive way. You have to continue to present challenges to yourself and not become sucked in by a false sense of accomplishment through the compliments you get. You post, continuing to put yourself out there as a means to show how you operate. When you don't ultimately lose 40 pounds or complete Iron Man instead of retracted, you need to keep moving towards the goal and document it to stay true to the accountability. 
  • ​That will allow you to see the more significant challenges and see bigger things for yourself. To get to this point, this level that we are at is tough, and people don't realize the challenges we have taken on. There are days that we don't talk because we are at each other's throats. We missed birthdays when Carla’s Dad was sick; she missed opportunities to say her goodbyes. She has had to stay focused on her goal because things would happen if she was there for them or not. Emotions would be out the window; her family would be up and down; everything would happen anyway. She had to stay focused on the ultimate goal, and hopefully, those that supported her would still be there. And they are. Even Carla's Dad, until his last breath, told her to continue to live her life; life must go on. 
  • ​Carla never looks back because she doesn't want regret to set in. This is how she runs, and some people might think she is cold-hearted. She has wired herself to know what she wants and how to get it. Carla isn't unhappy; she loves her life, the sacrifices she has made; Carla and I were close to divorce, and she would have been okay with that also, as long as she met her goal and was happy doing it.
In Closing
  • If you let it pull you apart and lose focus because of it, you will never get to that point. You will always ask yourself why, and you know why. Start looking at yourself with an honest eye. All of the moving parts are pulling you because you don't want to move forward on your ultimate goal. The first year Carla competed she had a broken toe, and no one knew it, she didn't want the pity. 
  • ​Carla can't pat you on the back and give you pity; that's not who she is. She finds someone else to do that because it is not her. She never coddled herself, so why would she do that for you? Carla never did that with our kids. She is loving and compassionate, very patient, and has many feelings. She will look you in the eye and call you out as a bullshitter. Stop bullshitting and start to tell yourself the truth; you are lazy, or the moving parts are pulling you apart, and you don't know what to do or how to get there. 
  • ​We don't have control when we allow those parts to pull at us. We allow it to take us down the wrong path, make excuses, or call ourselves out. Carla used to call herself out on her bullshit, and that is why she can call others out for their bullshit stories. Stories of why they can't or won't and why they will never get there. Carla realizes they can if they focus on what they ultimately want. 
  • ​Carla is pure fire, and you will want to listen to the last five minutes repeatedly to get it ingrained in your mind. You don't have to be an athlete to feel this feeling; the dopamine, the rush. Some of you are heavier, some are lighter, and whatever the H.I.I.T is for you. Going fast and then stopping, and when you get off the treadmill, you have a 20-second H.I.I.T, you're sweating, and you have an adrenaline rush; you feel like you can do anything. That is how life should feel day in and day out. When you get off the treadmill, you can think about how hard it was and stay there, knowing you have to do it again. Or, you can get off of the treadmill and embrace that feeling of power, knowing you got it done, and you stay there and keep going. You become better and better. 
  • ​Carla chose that it felt good, and that is where she wanted to go; she wanted more and more of it. That is how she is today. A few nights ago she was angry, she went outside and flipped an 80-pound tire; her goal was to do 30 reps, and she lost count after 70. She had been outside for 2 hours, flipping that tire. It felt too good to stop; the anger turned into passion, adrenaline, dopamine, and she couldn't stop. 
  • ​You can use that pain toward something that feels good or towards something that tears you down. Carla handled a flooded home, five days in New York, an argument with me over the house not being insured, she got 6th place in the competition and started to prep for the next. She told herself she was a beast, and she was going to do it all over again. Carla didn't allow all of the moving parts to bring her down; no one is going to beat her. She has wired herself over the years to understand that shit will happen, but somehow it always works out. 
  • ​Carla wouldn't be in the position she is today if she had dropped everything to get back to the flooded house; if things are bad now, they get really bad if you stop focusing and feeling empowered to do more. It sucks to be in the place where you know you left something on the table. 
  • ​Quit saying you don't know why you are broke; you can't lose weight, you have a broken marriage. I knew why the entire time; but, I wanted to blame Carla. You know why you can't pick up the camera and make selfie videos; you know more about yourself than anyone. No one can tell you what to do and how to do it. We can share our life experiences, but we can't tell you to do x,y, and z to get the results you are after. You need to go deep within yourself to discover what stops you from getting to the next step. The only way to do that is to sit and be honest with yourself. When you are only confident to do one out of three videos per week, why not the other two? Why do you lack confidence in one of the areas of relationships, health, yourself of business? 
  • ​Who are you? Do you know who you are to move forward with what you want? You can hire coaches, psychiatrists, and others to help you figure out your life. Unless you get honest with yourself, no one will be able to bring that to the surface. Raw honesty was the biggest game-changer for me because I began to take the lies I was telling myself as truth. When you peel back the layers, you will see that your entire life has been a facade; one big lie. Working on that, facing your insecurities will drop the facade. One of the reasons I didn't want to grow the brokerage is I was afraid to be in front of people; I would have to learn and teach. I was comfortable with who I was, and I wasn't comfortable with the idea of being someone greater. Slowly but surely, I gained confidence, learned to trust my voice and actions, and trusted my experiences; I can now convey a message powerful because of it. 
  • ​I was copying others initially because I thought that is what the marketplace needed; boxed training. It's the real and raw emotions and problems we have as humans daily; we are small business owners and aren't robots. We have to deal with all of the moving parts and navigate how to bring them together into one path, and that is a challenge. Often I would get picked apart by all of the moving parts. Now I have formed a Ferrari from it. You need to realize first where you are falling short and why you aren't confident to do certain things. 
  • ​Carla’s message has become powerful because she appreciates where she was, sees where she is now and has a goal in mind for the future. Sometimes you have to come back to the same place repeatedly because the first few times, you weren't honest and fully present. When we continuously go back, we learn who we are, through trial and error, getting better at what we want to do. We weren't honest with each other in the beginning; we were careful of what we said in fear of judgment. Now we do these podcasts and talk openly and honestly. We didn't know how to get to this point, but it was through consistency that we built the confidence and the armor to get to this place. If we get opinions that aren't positive, we know how to move forward and not get picked apart. 
  • ​Think about what you are getting held back by. Maybe it's your marketing, your confidence to direct clients towards a decision, perhaps it's your assertiveness; you have to proclaim who you are and what you have to do. Do that powerfully from the start by putting in the deposits, showcasing who you are what you are about. Do it for yourself, and it will build your confidence, get you out of your comfort zone, and allow you to build something great. Align your actions with what you want; mitigate all of the moving parts, and use it to your benefit. Build the vehicle that will move you forward. Thank you for joining Carla and me, and hopefully, something that was said will give you the confidence to move powerfully. 

More Episodes

A.Z. & Associates Real Estate Group - 2019