with A.Z. Araujo - Episode 86:

Power Proximity

with A.Z. Araujo - Episode 86:

Power Proximity

CUSTOM JAVASCRIPT / HTML
Over the years, I thought I had to struggle to be fulfilled. Life couldn't have its ups without its downs. It wasn't until I exercised the Power of Proximity, surrounding myself with people living their lives to the fullest; I realized things don't have to be bad to be good. There are no bad days, only bad moments; it's up to us to make that happen.
Forcing Change
  • ​I made this change in the time of this program because of a voice that spoke to me. It was time to push myself to another level, to the capacity I know I am made of. As I am training for this Ironman, I am becoming more aware of my patterns. I have been pushing myself to pass the limitations I thought I had. I think it sets the foundation for what I need to do here as we take AZ & Associates to another level and Do the Work Coaching. It has built me up. 
  • ​I have so much gratitude for the decisions I have made to put me in this position to force change. With that force comes another realm of responsibility and possibilities. I am doing things now that I never thought was possible. Have you ever been in a place where your bank account looks good, or watching your spouse or kids; you wonder how you got there. Especially when we are conditioned to think marriage and life should be a certain way and have money in the bank comes struggle. 
  • ​I've been sitting back the past few days with gratitude for how things have progressed; I'm not taking things lightly. I want things to get where they are good all of the time. For the most part, I can operate in a place where I have great days. I never go an entire day where things go down the drain. I used to believe I could have a bad day, but we are capable of changing those motives when we realize it's a bad moment and not a bad day. Thinking I had that option to have a bad day allowed me to sit and wallow. 
  • ​As I began to progress in life and appreciate what I created; we are all tough on ourselves when it comes to business and wanting more. I don't think any of us will ever be satisfied. We went into this business because we want more, and that's okay. There is no shame in wanting more. I think shame comes with complacency. That is a thought process we have to get away from; being happy with what you have. The reality is we should always try to force change. Always try to make things better and become a better person and show up more powerfully as parents. This perspective just changed when I became more aware and started aligning myself with individuals living life at a different level. Levels I didn't understand were possible for me. How could I be happy, have money in the bank, and be fulfilled? It didn't make sense.
  • ​To reach a certain level of happiness and fulfillment, I needed to struggle consistently. That is how I was wired. The reason I was wired that way is that I observed that. I watched my parents going through ups and downs in life; things were really good and then bad. This pattern was something I took on without even realizing it. I thought it was a reality of life until I saw others always living life in a fulfilled aspect. How was that possible? How could I make that my reality?
Baggage and Anchors
  • In 2012 and 2013, the wrong decisions and indecisions began to weigh on me. It was hard to get out of bed. When you fail to do certain things, it feels as though you are carrying around burdens; it's heavy, and each step is a great task to overcome. Trying to get inspired, being present in your marriage was all too much for me. I realized I was leaving a lot on the table with everything I did. 
  • ​I was lugging around baggage and anchors of indecision. I would say I would do one thing and then do the complete opposite. Every day got heavier, harder, and more challenging to do the simplest things. Even being appreciative was difficult; all I could do was wallow in my sorrow and pity of what I didn't do and what I didn't have. It was tough. 
  • ​I saw my Mom go through this situation where one day, she would snap out of it. So, this was how I operated when I was in a slump. I would stay there for a week or months at a time, then one day, I would garner the courage to get up and do things. I was tired of the in-between, of wasting weeks and months. I remember I bought my first book; before then, I didn't read much. It wasn't part of how I operated and the things I do. I knew I wanted to learn more about myself, motivation, and self-development. During that time, I remember going to the library and not seeing as many books as there is today; self-development wasn't a big thing. Today you can go to any book store or Amazon. Audiobooks, podcasts are everywhere and talk about self-development and the importance of what you put into your mind. The voices you listen to. It is abundant.
  • ​You can go to any Barnes & Noble and find entire sections on self-development. There wasn't as much then as there is today. My first book was “Unleash the Power Within” by Tony Robbins. I can’t say his book made a big difference in how I approached life, but it opened me to realize there is knowledge out there I had no idea about. There was knowledge out there waiting for me to consume. I started with his book, and it was the Power of Proximity, the people around me, that shifted and pivoted me from where I was at. One of those individuals invited me to a business mastery course by Tony Robbins. It was my first real self-development seminar. 
  • ​I remember going there and being in awe; there were so many others wanting the same things. So many people there who felt lost and burdened by life. They were looking for something greater for themselves. I went there thinking all of my life skills would be repaired if I know how to run my business. I think a lot of small business owners believe the same way. Once I have my business in line, everything will be okay; my marriage will get better, I will have time to connect with my children, and have the money to hire a personal trainer. Once I get this business going, then. That was my thought process. I focused all of my efforts on building this business, thinking I had the time to repair those things I was avoiding. I was only making things worse.
  • ​It had nothing to do with my business and had everything to do with me honoring my word. Sticking to what I knew I needed to do. Putting my marriage on the back burner, not spending time with my children, over-consuming alcohol were not the things helping me to move forward. In fact, it was keeping me away from the goals and ambitions I had for my business. That was an unfinished business that became an anchor. How I showed up in my marriage became an anchor.
Post Traumatic Growth
  • There was no way I could grow my business if I ignored the things that would keep me fired up for the long haul. If I didn't have the right thought process and the right mindset, there was no chance. It would have been the same peaks and valleys. If we think that once our business gets going, I know my wife will be happy, you are looking at it all wrong. Once I get my business going, then I will have the money to hire a trainer; you are looking at it all wrong. 
  • ​When you pay attention to those things first, your business will be the by-product of the power you gain. If you have your house in order, I promise you there will be a massive shift in your business. If you feel you are running into a wall repeatedly, it's because you are focusing on the wrong things. It doesn't matter the time you put in your business if things aren't right at home. It will only be temporary. 
  • ​I was there, hoping my business would change and become more profitable, yet things at home became more chaotic. I knew it deep inside, yet it was harder to fix than figuring out how to make the next dollar. Maybe you are thinking the same thing. It's too complicated at home; maybe I should focus all of my efforts on growing my business. It is easy because this game is simple. When you dig yourself in a hole at home, it can become complex. There are so many feelings, so much history, and resentment. 
  • ​It seems like Mt. Everest, and you will never get to the top because things have gotten so bad. As I became more aware of my actions and my thoughts, I noticed I was a pessimistic person yet very ambitious. I thought everything was for the short term, and feeling good all of the time was a possibility. Now I expect to feel good all of the time. That is all I ever expect. I know if I do the right things daily, I will always get the right results. There might be some challenges or obstacles I have to overcome, but those are short term. They are meant to overcome, and for me to find solutions. 
  • ​This awareness made me look within. It was the Power of Proximity. It was being able to take advice and have conversations with people living it—in all aspects of their lives, having it all. I started to see new possibilities for myself, but I was yearning for more information, and I started to find it. I began to open more books, learning about the things that used to hold me back and the traits I need to appreciate. The tragic events that happened in my life and how they made me stronger. It was post-traumatic stress; it was post-traumatic growth. Overcoming those obstacles reinforces the fact I can overcome anything. You need to look at it this way and realize that it will all be temporary if the focus is only on one thing. It has to be on all things.
No Shame in the Light
  • The Power of Proximity allowed me to take advice from individuals living at that level and realized you don't have to make things bad for them to be good. I was so grateful this morning. As I go through the patterns of the 12-week Targets, and part of the process is to put in a Purpose deposit. A Purpose deposit is listening to something to make you a better person; self-development. 
  • ​I was listening to a lecture from Jordan Peterson, a clinical psychologist and professor of psychology. How fortunate are we to be able to listen to the brightest minds, the most intellectual minds from our phones. I can't believe we all have this Power of Proximity to the greatest minds on the planets, with podcasts, audiobooks. With YouTube, we can be in places where only the select few had access. Most of us would never have this opportunity to hear lectures on the study of human behavior and feelings and emotions; drive, depression, anxiety, and happiness. 
  • ​All I am doing is adding these deposits and reaffirming to myself there is something greater for myself. I am breaking more significant generational dysfunctions here by staying the course. When we hide, stop doing the right things that we revert to our lowest form of habit. Back to the thoughts, we have had from a young age. It's easy for me to go back to those patterns, shut down for my family, and focus on business and nothing else. I need this constant voice in my ear, these lectures through my headphones, and audiobooks. I need to be aware of my behaviors because I know what I can do when I am not on my game. It's nothing that I am proud of. 
  • ​I have all of these great mentors, and they have no idea I am a student and how much they have changed my life. Because I decided to lean in, just because they aren't in my realm doesn't mean they aren't in my realm. These individuals have made a huge impact on my life. Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters is a book that, to this day, has changed my dynamic in the way I approach my daughters and lead them. The Darkside of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford allowed me to realize the shame when it is brought into light is power. There is no longer shame.
  • ​All of these books have allowed me to see a more incredible me, but I needed their perspectives to change my own. Loving What Is by Byron Katie allowed me to process situations and ask myself the right questions. My initial reaction, what I learned from a young age, was if you push me, I will push back. My emotions were always based on somebody else's; it was reactive. Now I know how to take full control, and you're not going to bring me down to where you're at; I am going to bring you up to where I'm at. 
  • ​There are so many great books and lectures, podcasts that I am consuming because I know there is more for me and people living it at a high level. Every time we take our family to the next level, I realize there is more. We have to take advantage of the technology out there for us, realizing we have access to all of this, the Power of Proximity.
  • ​How do we apply this daily? The 12-week Target Book calls for it to be done daily. Take 20-30 minutes every day. Listen to multiple audiobooks, whatever inspires you, whatever has you learn why you always retract, why you fear things, and shut down. Learn about yourself. What is it? What are the trigger points that take you to the point of shutting down? How can you overcome it? There is no shame in our past if we bring it to the forefront; it's all power. 
  • ​Part of the process is putting in the self-development deposit. You may be wired like I am, I over-analyze things, and it makes me nervous. I need reasoning and being reminded of what I am made of. You being on this call is a significant step forward. It's your responsibility to consume more and then apply it. Be aware of it, teach it, and live it. It's amazing what the Power of Proximity will do to us. That is the age we are in. It's a personal responsibility. What can you learn today? What can you learn about yourself? Those dysfunctional habits; where do they stem from?
In Closing
  • We were riding this weekend, and we were on a lonely road. Nobody was out there. There were eight of us out there, and the cars that did happen took precautions to avoid us. Right before we made a turn onto another road, a car whizzed right by us, honking. It's 6 am, and he is honking and yelling for us to get out of the way. He had so much anger within him; he triggered me, and I wanted to get as angry towards him. It was dangerous, and he could have run one of us over. 
  • ​Instead, I began to empathize with him. What is going on in his life that he is this angry at 6 am? What has happened? What generational dysfunction has he failed to correct? What are the lies he is making into his truths? Instead of getting angry at myself and being upset, I felt sorry for him. I know it's a culmination of the bad decisions he has made. I don't know what is going on. Maybe a bunch of guys exercising triggered him. Perhaps something is going on with his marriage, or a tragedy just happened, and we are the targets of his frustrations. I don't know why. 
  • ​I do know I kept my cool, and I noticed that I empathize with him. I wanted something better for him. We should never get to the point when life is so good. This is where we need to ground ourselves and learn about ourselves; realizing whatever challenge you are facing in your business, at home, within yourself and your mind, there is something to learn from it. That is why you are experiencing it. 
  • ​The Power of Proximity we have in the palm of our hand, and we need to take advantage of it and then do something with it. Everyday. I was reading the book, The Happiness Hypothesis, finding modern truth to the age of wisdom. I wanted to share something from it with you. It talks about how many look at post-traumatic stress and how we seem to analyze it as a negative. Over the last fifteen years, research has gone beyond resilience and has begun to focus on the benefits of severe stress. These benefits sometimes are referred collectively as post-traumatic growth, in direct contrast to post-traumatic stress disorder. There is a different element altogether. 
  • ​When I think about what I have gone through, that should be the foundation of us realizing we can get through anything. There is a benefit to that. We saw ourselves overcoming things we never thought were possible. It goes on to say that one of the most common lessons people draw from trauma is that they are stronger than they realize. This new appreciation of their strength then gives them the confidence to face future challenges. It gives you grit. You have grit, and so do I. 
  • ​Traumatic personal losses often seem to be inoculated against future stress. They recover more quickly, in part because they know they can cope. This is the way we need to approach things. To cope, we need to be aware. We need to bring it back to the forefront and take that shame into the light to feel the strength. Realizing there is power. 
  • ​Take advantage of the Power of Proximity. It is in the palm of our hands. It is part of what makes life so good; Prime 3. Power, Purpose, and Profits. Today was all about Purpose and self-development. It is your responsibility to take 15-20 minutes daily to learn something about yourself. Learn how to break these generational dysfunctions. Learn how to be happy all of the time. You being on this call, hopefully, shift your mindset. Hopefully, it changed your perspective to realize that you're made of more. 
  • ​We all have the solutions to whatever task or adversity we have within us; don't avoid the voice. You have a voice screaming at you, and until you decide to follow it, life will be chaotic. You need to say you know exactly what to do. There was a book I mentioned by Debbie Ford, and she was so instrumental in me understanding these shames. Growing up, I didn't have a lot of money, didn't live in the best neighborhood, and had a lot of shame in that. To a point where I would try to speak a different way, dress a certain way so people wouldn't discover it. 
  • ​It seemed like things only got darker for me. It's posturing, smoke, and mirrors. That is tough to keep up. I would make up stories about things that happened in my life. I couldn't keep up with the lies. It was stressful, and I would avoid conversations. Reading this book brought things out into the light. This is my X-factor. My experiences had to occur to be the person that I was. There was no shame in that. By keeping it in the dark, it was scarier thinking about it coming into the light. It seemed more shameful because I didn't want to talk about it. Once I did, there was an appreciation for the journey. There was nothing to be ashamed of. Not all of us are dealt cards that benefit us from day one. It doesn't mean we have to stick to that story; I made those changes, and I am proud of what I have done and where I am leading my family.
  • ​It was only on the back of bringing that into the light, and once we do, it's a powerful way to live. It was The Darkside of the Light Chasers that got me to own who I was. Along with another book by Byron Katie, Loving What Is, and asking myself the right questions. So many mentors, and they had no idea. These individuals have changed my family, along with my coaches and the mentors within my proximity. It's so essential for us to put that on ourselves to continue to grow. I will not allow my kids to try to figure out what I couldn't. Try to figure out what my parents couldn't. They have so much more to figure out on their own; why do they have to deal with my or my parent's baggage? It was my responsibility to shift that, and it all started with my mindset. 
  • ​To create big things, you have to make sure you can conclude what was holding you back before. In this case, it was generational. Purpose deposits are enormous, but you need to allow yourself to bring out what you've been hiding. It might be painful at first. I used not to be able to describe certain things without getting emotional. Now it's easy to say what has happened and where I have been. 
  • ​Whose voice will you hear because everyone's experience is different around that? Everything that can be said has been said. I hope this served you. Waking up with so much gratitude and listening to a lecture by Jordan Peterson and reading a book by Jonathon Haidt, listening to a podcast, made me appreciate the access I have to so much knowledge. We have to take advantage of it. There is a way to live a life on fire. Thank you for joining me, have a great day.

More Episodes

CUSTOM JAVASCRIPT / HTML
Over the years, I thought I had to struggle to be fulfilled. Life couldn't have its ups without its downs. It wasn't until I exercised the Power of Proximity, surrounding myself with people living their lives to the fullest; I realized things don't have to be bad to be good. There are no bad days, only bad moments; it's up to us to make that happen.
Forcing Change
  • ​I made this change in the time of this program because of a voice that spoke to me. It was time to push myself to another level, to the capacity I know I am made of. As I am training for this Ironman, I am becoming more aware of my patterns. I have been pushing myself to pass the limitations I thought I had. I think it sets the foundation for what I need to do here as we take AZ & Associates to another level and Do the Work Coaching. It has built me up. 
  • ​I have so much gratitude for the decisions I have made to put me in this position to force change. With that force comes another realm of responsibility and possibilities. I am doing things now that I never thought was possible. Have you ever been in a place where your bank account looks good, or watching your spouse or kids; you wonder how you got there. Especially when we are conditioned to think marriage and life should be a certain way and have money in the bank comes struggle. 
  • ​I've been sitting back the past few days with gratitude for how things have progressed; I'm not taking things lightly. I want things to get where they are good all of the time. For the most part, I can operate in a place where I have great days. I never go an entire day where things go down the drain. I used to believe I could have a bad day, but we are capable of changing those motives when we realize it's a bad moment and not a bad day. Thinking I had that option to have a bad day allowed me to sit and wallow. 
  • ​As I began to progress in life and appreciate what I created; we are all tough on ourselves when it comes to business and wanting more. I don't think any of us will ever be satisfied. We went into this business because we want more, and that's okay. There is no shame in wanting more. I think shame comes with complacency. That is a thought process we have to get away from; being happy with what you have. The reality is we should always try to force change. Always try to make things better and become a better person and show up more powerfully as parents. This perspective just changed when I became more aware and started aligning myself with individuals living life at a different level. Levels I didn't understand were possible for me. How could I be happy, have money in the bank, and be fulfilled? It didn't make sense.
  • ​To reach a certain level of happiness and fulfillment, I needed to struggle consistently. That is how I was wired. The reason I was wired that way is that I observed that. I watched my parents going through ups and downs in life; things were really good and then bad. This pattern was something I took on without even realizing it. I thought it was a reality of life until I saw others always living life in a fulfilled aspect. How was that possible? How could I make that my reality?
Baggage and Anchors
  • In 2012 and 2013, the wrong decisions and indecisions began to weigh on me. It was hard to get out of bed. When you fail to do certain things, it feels as though you are carrying around burdens; it's heavy, and each step is a great task to overcome. Trying to get inspired, being present in your marriage was all too much for me. I realized I was leaving a lot on the table with everything I did. 
  • ​I was lugging around baggage and anchors of indecision. I would say I would do one thing and then do the complete opposite. Every day got heavier, harder, and more challenging to do the simplest things. Even being appreciative was difficult; all I could do was wallow in my sorrow and pity of what I didn't do and what I didn't have. It was tough. 
  • ​I saw my Mom go through this situation where one day, she would snap out of it. So, this was how I operated when I was in a slump. I would stay there for a week or months at a time, then one day, I would garner the courage to get up and do things. I was tired of the in-between, of wasting weeks and months. I remember I bought my first book; before then, I didn't read much. It wasn't part of how I operated and the things I do. I knew I wanted to learn more about myself, motivation, and self-development. During that time, I remember going to the library and not seeing as many books as there is today; self-development wasn't a big thing. Today you can go to any book store or Amazon. Audiobooks, podcasts are everywhere and talk about self-development and the importance of what you put into your mind. The voices you listen to. It is abundant.
  • ​You can go to any Barnes & Noble and find entire sections on self-development. There wasn't as much then as there is today. My first book was “Unleash the Power Within” by Tony Robbins. I can’t say his book made a big difference in how I approached life, but it opened me to realize there is knowledge out there I had no idea about. There was knowledge out there waiting for me to consume. I started with his book, and it was the Power of Proximity, the people around me, that shifted and pivoted me from where I was at. One of those individuals invited me to a business mastery course by Tony Robbins. It was my first real self-development seminar. 
  • ​I remember going there and being in awe; there were so many others wanting the same things. So many people there who felt lost and burdened by life. They were looking for something greater for themselves. I went there thinking all of my life skills would be repaired if I know how to run my business. I think a lot of small business owners believe the same way. Once I have my business in line, everything will be okay; my marriage will get better, I will have time to connect with my children, and have the money to hire a personal trainer. Once I get this business going, then. That was my thought process. I focused all of my efforts on building this business, thinking I had the time to repair those things I was avoiding. I was only making things worse.
  • ​It had nothing to do with my business and had everything to do with me honoring my word. Sticking to what I knew I needed to do. Putting my marriage on the back burner, not spending time with my children, over-consuming alcohol were not the things helping me to move forward. In fact, it was keeping me away from the goals and ambitions I had for my business. That was an unfinished business that became an anchor. How I showed up in my marriage became an anchor.
Post Traumatic Growth
  • There was no way I could grow my business if I ignored the things that would keep me fired up for the long haul. If I didn't have the right thought process and the right mindset, there was no chance. It would have been the same peaks and valleys. If we think that once our business gets going, I know my wife will be happy, you are looking at it all wrong. Once I get my business going, then I will have the money to hire a trainer; you are looking at it all wrong. 
  • ​When you pay attention to those things first, your business will be the by-product of the power you gain. If you have your house in order, I promise you there will be a massive shift in your business. If you feel you are running into a wall repeatedly, it's because you are focusing on the wrong things. It doesn't matter the time you put in your business if things aren't right at home. It will only be temporary. 
  • ​I was there, hoping my business would change and become more profitable, yet things at home became more chaotic. I knew it deep inside, yet it was harder to fix than figuring out how to make the next dollar. Maybe you are thinking the same thing. It's too complicated at home; maybe I should focus all of my efforts on growing my business. It is easy because this game is simple. When you dig yourself in a hole at home, it can become complex. There are so many feelings, so much history, and resentment. 
  • ​It seems like Mt. Everest, and you will never get to the top because things have gotten so bad. As I became more aware of my actions and my thoughts, I noticed I was a pessimistic person yet very ambitious. I thought everything was for the short term, and feeling good all of the time was a possibility. Now I expect to feel good all of the time. That is all I ever expect. I know if I do the right things daily, I will always get the right results. There might be some challenges or obstacles I have to overcome, but those are short term. They are meant to overcome, and for me to find solutions. 
  • ​This awareness made me look within. It was the Power of Proximity. It was being able to take advice and have conversations with people living it—in all aspects of their lives, having it all. I started to see new possibilities for myself, but I was yearning for more information, and I started to find it. I began to open more books, learning about the things that used to hold me back and the traits I need to appreciate. The tragic events that happened in my life and how they made me stronger. It was post-traumatic stress; it was post-traumatic growth. Overcoming those obstacles reinforces the fact I can overcome anything. You need to look at it this way and realize that it will all be temporary if the focus is only on one thing. It has to be on all things.
No Shame in the Light
  • The Power of Proximity allowed me to take advice from individuals living at that level and realized you don't have to make things bad for them to be good. I was so grateful this morning. As I go through the patterns of the 12-week Targets, and part of the process is to put in a Purpose deposit. A Purpose deposit is listening to something to make you a better person; self-development. 
  • ​I was listening to a lecture from Jordan Peterson, a clinical psychologist and professor of psychology. How fortunate are we to be able to listen to the brightest minds, the most intellectual minds from our phones. I can't believe we all have this Power of Proximity to the greatest minds on the planets, with podcasts, audiobooks. With YouTube, we can be in places where only the select few had access. Most of us would never have this opportunity to hear lectures on the study of human behavior and feelings and emotions; drive, depression, anxiety, and happiness. 
  • ​All I am doing is adding these deposits and reaffirming to myself there is something greater for myself. I am breaking more significant generational dysfunctions here by staying the course. When we hide, stop doing the right things that we revert to our lowest form of habit. Back to the thoughts, we have had from a young age. It's easy for me to go back to those patterns, shut down for my family, and focus on business and nothing else. I need this constant voice in my ear, these lectures through my headphones, and audiobooks. I need to be aware of my behaviors because I know what I can do when I am not on my game. It's nothing that I am proud of. 
  • ​I have all of these great mentors, and they have no idea I am a student and how much they have changed my life. Because I decided to lean in, just because they aren't in my realm doesn't mean they aren't in my realm. These individuals have made a huge impact on my life. Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters is a book that, to this day, has changed my dynamic in the way I approach my daughters and lead them. The Darkside of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford allowed me to realize the shame when it is brought into light is power. There is no longer shame.
  • ​All of these books have allowed me to see a more incredible me, but I needed their perspectives to change my own. Loving What Is by Byron Katie allowed me to process situations and ask myself the right questions. My initial reaction, what I learned from a young age, was if you push me, I will push back. My emotions were always based on somebody else's; it was reactive. Now I know how to take full control, and you're not going to bring me down to where you're at; I am going to bring you up to where I'm at. 
  • ​There are so many great books and lectures, podcasts that I am consuming because I know there is more for me and people living it at a high level. Every time we take our family to the next level, I realize there is more. We have to take advantage of the technology out there for us, realizing we have access to all of this, the Power of Proximity.
  • ​How do we apply this daily? The 12-week Target Book calls for it to be done daily. Take 20-30 minutes every day. Listen to multiple audiobooks, whatever inspires you, whatever has you learn why you always retract, why you fear things, and shut down. Learn about yourself. What is it? What are the trigger points that take you to the point of shutting down? How can you overcome it? There is no shame in our past if we bring it to the forefront; it's all power. 
  • ​Part of the process is putting in the self-development deposit. You may be wired like I am, I over-analyze things, and it makes me nervous. I need reasoning and being reminded of what I am made of. You being on this call is a significant step forward. It's your responsibility to consume more and then apply it. Be aware of it, teach it, and live it. It's amazing what the Power of Proximity will do to us. That is the age we are in. It's a personal responsibility. What can you learn today? What can you learn about yourself? Those dysfunctional habits; where do they stem from?
In Closing
  • We were riding this weekend, and we were on a lonely road. Nobody was out there. There were eight of us out there, and the cars that did happen took precautions to avoid us. Right before we made a turn onto another road, a car whizzed right by us, honking. It's 6 am, and he is honking and yelling for us to get out of the way. He had so much anger within him; he triggered me, and I wanted to get as angry towards him. It was dangerous, and he could have run one of us over. 
  • ​Instead, I began to empathize with him. What is going on in his life that he is this angry at 6 am? What has happened? What generational dysfunction has he failed to correct? What are the lies he is making into his truths? Instead of getting angry at myself and being upset, I felt sorry for him. I know it's a culmination of the bad decisions he has made. I don't know what is going on. Maybe a bunch of guys exercising triggered him. Perhaps something is going on with his marriage, or a tragedy just happened, and we are the targets of his frustrations. I don't know why. 
  • ​I do know I kept my cool, and I noticed that I empathize with him. I wanted something better for him. We should never get to the point when life is so good. This is where we need to ground ourselves and learn about ourselves; realizing whatever challenge you are facing in your business, at home, within yourself and your mind, there is something to learn from it. That is why you are experiencing it. 
  • ​The Power of Proximity we have in the palm of our hand, and we need to take advantage of it and then do something with it. Everyday. I was reading the book, The Happiness Hypothesis, finding modern truth to the age of wisdom. I wanted to share something from it with you. It talks about how many look at post-traumatic stress and how we seem to analyze it as a negative. Over the last fifteen years, research has gone beyond resilience and has begun to focus on the benefits of severe stress. These benefits sometimes are referred collectively as post-traumatic growth, in direct contrast to post-traumatic stress disorder. There is a different element altogether. 
  • ​When I think about what I have gone through, that should be the foundation of us realizing we can get through anything. There is a benefit to that. We saw ourselves overcoming things we never thought were possible. It goes on to say that one of the most common lessons people draw from trauma is that they are stronger than they realize. This new appreciation of their strength then gives them the confidence to face future challenges. It gives you grit. You have grit, and so do I. 
  • ​Traumatic personal losses often seem to be inoculated against future stress. They recover more quickly, in part because they know they can cope. This is the way we need to approach things. To cope, we need to be aware. We need to bring it back to the forefront and take that shame into the light to feel the strength. Realizing there is power. 
  • ​Take advantage of the Power of Proximity. It is in the palm of our hands. It is part of what makes life so good; Prime 3. Power, Purpose, and Profits. Today was all about Purpose and self-development. It is your responsibility to take 15-20 minutes daily to learn something about yourself. Learn how to break these generational dysfunctions. Learn how to be happy all of the time. You being on this call, hopefully, shift your mindset. Hopefully, it changed your perspective to realize that you're made of more. 
  • ​We all have the solutions to whatever task or adversity we have within us; don't avoid the voice. You have a voice screaming at you, and until you decide to follow it, life will be chaotic. You need to say you know exactly what to do. There was a book I mentioned by Debbie Ford, and she was so instrumental in me understanding these shames. Growing up, I didn't have a lot of money, didn't live in the best neighborhood, and had a lot of shame in that. To a point where I would try to speak a different way, dress a certain way so people wouldn't discover it. 
  • ​It seemed like things only got darker for me. It's posturing, smoke, and mirrors. That is tough to keep up. I would make up stories about things that happened in my life. I couldn't keep up with the lies. It was stressful, and I would avoid conversations. Reading this book brought things out into the light. This is my X-factor. My experiences had to occur to be the person that I was. There was no shame in that. By keeping it in the dark, it was scarier thinking about it coming into the light. It seemed more shameful because I didn't want to talk about it. Once I did, there was an appreciation for the journey. There was nothing to be ashamed of. Not all of us are dealt cards that benefit us from day one. It doesn't mean we have to stick to that story; I made those changes, and I am proud of what I have done and where I am leading my family.
  • ​It was only on the back of bringing that into the light, and once we do, it's a powerful way to live. It was The Darkside of the Light Chasers that got me to own who I was. Along with another book by Byron Katie, Loving What Is, and asking myself the right questions. So many mentors, and they had no idea. These individuals have changed my family, along with my coaches and the mentors within my proximity. It's so essential for us to put that on ourselves to continue to grow. I will not allow my kids to try to figure out what I couldn't. Try to figure out what my parents couldn't. They have so much more to figure out on their own; why do they have to deal with my or my parent's baggage? It was my responsibility to shift that, and it all started with my mindset. 
  • ​To create big things, you have to make sure you can conclude what was holding you back before. In this case, it was generational. Purpose deposits are enormous, but you need to allow yourself to bring out what you've been hiding. It might be painful at first. I used not to be able to describe certain things without getting emotional. Now it's easy to say what has happened and where I have been. 
  • ​Whose voice will you hear because everyone's experience is different around that? Everything that can be said has been said. I hope this served you. Waking up with so much gratitude and listening to a lecture by Jordan Peterson and reading a book by Jonathon Haidt, listening to a podcast, made me appreciate the access I have to so much knowledge. We have to take advantage of it. There is a way to live a life on fire. Thank you for joining me, have a great day.

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A.Z. & Associates Real Estate Group - 2019